Thursday, December 25, 2008

Give me words?

Song of the Glob: Death on Two Legs - Queen

Dear Globlets,

A couple of you already know about this one friend that I have, S. I'd been having some problems with her for a long time and a while ago, I cut down our talking time by quite a bit. I was ignoring her. I told her, after some time, that I wasn't sure if I want to be her friend anymore, and I know that I don't. I've known her since grade 2, 10 years ago, but a lot has changed since then. It was hard for me to give S a good reason for my "shocking, sudden" idea. She kept asking if it was because of something she'd done. I told her no. But the truth is, it's everything she does. I probably sound like a horrible friend, hitting a "rough patch" and taking it too hard and cowardly going about it, but you know... this "rough patch" has dragged out for so long and has been more stressful and painful than it's worth. I used to be a good friend, I think. I'd call her all the time and chat with her on MSN, and we'd talk and talk and always have a good time and I'd always take her side... she always comes up with a compelling side to a story... and I've learned over time to take absolutely everything she says with a huge grain of salt.
So what's changed?
At first, it felt like I was doing all the work in the friendship. Relationships, any kind, are two-way streets. The love has to go both ways for things to work well. I'd taken her out for a birthday lunch some time ago. I hadn't ever really taken her out to eat before, but I learned what happens when you go out with her. Between the two of us, it was $55. She insisted on appetizers... always lots of appetizers, and since she was being treated, she got big things, expensive things, whatever was to her liking with no regard as to how it would affect my wallet.
You might be thinking that I could just tell her how I feel. Well, I would have told her a lot of things by now if I were actually ABLE TO.
Another time, the two of us went out with her boyfriend. I wouldn't say her BF and I don't get along, but we're not very comfortable around each other. It was okay, I think. (I have a hard time figuring out what emotions I'm feeling sometimes. Okay, often.) We didn't really know where to go - Chinese or Greek - (this was also for her birthday, another year) but she eventually chose Greek. (Her BF and I are often incapable of making decisions around each other or S... or maybe in general) Greek it was. Appetizers were ordered, of course, and since S, again, was having her share of the bill covered, she ordered some very expensive stuff! Not hard to do at a Greek restaurant. And when I say expensive, I mean lamb-and-steak expensive. Her BF, who also ordered big, forgot his wallet so I paid for the whole thing. I got most of what was owed to me, but I'm still not sure if it was the full amount. The bill... was over $70. Closer to $80, I believe.
Now, when someone takes me out, the thought of ordering appetizers never crosses my mind because I know how expensive they are, and I know how rare it is that they're worth it. ($6.00+ for 2-3 pieces bread with melted cheese at Cactus Club Cafe, btw) I always try to go for the less expensive things on the menu when someone else is paying. The whole seafood/steak section is basically off-limits to me.
To drink?
I never want to take advantage of someone else paying for my meal.
Oh! But those were TWO TIMES! Surely, I can forgive and forget. But what about all the years she forgot my birthday? (Every year.) Or forgot Christmas or birthday presents... or just cards. I never skipped any of them for her. I did, eventually, on purpose.
After our "break" from friendship, I was reminded of the good times. That's the only reason I wasn't constantly mad at her... I forget the bad and hold on to the good, and the good has been VERY good. But the bad keeps coming and it's getting worse.
Being away from her made me look at things differently. It allowed me to take a step back and to analyze. I ended up deciding to give it another shot. I began to notice how obsessive she is. It's going to sound horrible and weird, but... it's like she's obsessive... and possessive... of me. The way she talks to me, how much she talks to me, the way she clings to me and wants to be close and hug and how she has to inspect my boyfriend before anything happens and how she refuses to acknowledge my personal space... And she's SO FULL OF HERSELF! She's commented on pictures I've taken of her saying how beautiful and gorgeous and sexy she looks. She says things to me ALL the time that make me feel stupid, beneath her, and does it in front of my other friends sometimes too, making her look intelligent, wise and mature while I look like an ignorant, narrow minded ass. Her excuse for her unintentional acts of demoralization and degradation is that it's just the way she is. She's "blunt." She's the youngest, female child in her family and is discriminated against all the time and doesn't get any attention, of which she so greatly craves, but she's a tough chick. Ohhh yeah! She's gonna beat this person up and that person... and do this and that 'cause she's so strong! Right. Because the cries for sympathy would never make me think otherwise. Her tough exterior has holes apparently. Yet she's so successful! Oh yes! She works for some artist and doesn't let you forget the fact that he's famous. (I've never heard of him before and can't even remember his name... I don't even like his work... but whatever makes you happy...) She gets paid a lot and it's just swell! She's also been accepted to a college for part-time studies while still in school! WOW! She not only knows what she wants in her future but she's already halfway there! Her grades are slipping... from A's to B's and B's to C's in a couple subjects though... the poor thing. But it's because she's terribly stressed out from all of this work and responsibility that is being put on her shoulders. She's complained many times about how stressed out she is because of all her issues right now, not to mention personal issues... because her family is dysfunctional (and nobody else's is?) and she doesn't get enough time with her man. And, of course, her problems are always worse than yours. So! Never fear! Someone else has it worse than you, my dear! Doesn't that make you feel better? Well, no. It never did.
The latest thing is that she wants to get into photography because the ECU people said they want to see more of her digital work in her portfolio in order to get in. She keeps asking me if I could teach her how to take good pictures and show her how the camera works and this and that. Maybe I would if the situation were different, but nobody taught ME anything. I figured things out on my own. Well, tomorrow she's probably going to get a new camera! She's asked me for advice on the model...
1st, I don't know her budget.
2nd, I don't know how high quality she wants it.
3rd, I have ONE camera. And just because I have ONE camera doesn't mean I know dick-all about any other camera! Well, it doesn't matter. She's looking at getting the Canon XSI - the same camera I have. How coincidental. You know how long it took me to get enough money for my camera? Or how long it took me to decide which one? How much research went into it, and comparing of prices, and physical handling of them photographic suckers? I didn't start off with a DSLR, either. Lucky her!

I'm just so, so, SO TIRED of her. I can't stand her! I hate feeling stupid, degraded, like I'm being taken advantage of, like I'm being copied or clinged on to, like I'm her puppet or her pet. I hate the way we are with each other. She's all "Ori! Ori!! Ori!!!" and I'm like "Can I help you?" and she laughs and I'm not really joking. I've had enough of it. There's just one little problem...
How do you tell such a long-time friend, who's oblivious to your feelings, that you don't want to partake in the friendship any longer, while you're terrified of her reaction and of the guilt that you will be drenched in by the time you're finished?

The easiest would be to cut off all contact completely from her... but that's probably not the best way to go about things. I don't know what to tell her. I just want to say to her, "I kind of hate you," and leave. I love her and I don't want her to be sad or unhappy or hurting but I can't go on like this. But what do I tell her?

What do I tell her?


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Give a little to get a little?

Song of the Glob: "Monday, Monday" by The Mamas and the Papas

Dear Globlets,

I'm pissed off. I'm rather amazed how calm I am about it, however. I'd like to be breaking things and what-not but I'm doing the healthy thing and bottling it up inside.

Writing here helps.

My man, whom we'll call by his nickname, "Spiffy," has been restricted further contact with me or probably with anyone else, so... things are getting sticky. Stickier. They were sticky to begin with. I can't actually write about this in detail, I just realized. Crap. At least not without his consent.
Great. Maybe I can work around the whole moral thing...
His parents don't approve of me, especially his dad. Maybe I wrote this before, maybe not - whatever. They were already proventing him from seeing me as much as possible before and now they've just... well... there is little... okay, there is nothing that can be done. Just going to let things cool down. It's all I can do. Even though things weren't very warm to start with. It's strange... technically I have somebody... but at the same time I feel like I don't. It's not so bad when you get to see the person once in a while and are able to exchange an e-mail or two or make a phone call, however short it may be... but it's not the same now. I missed him a lot when he was away and who knows how much longer it will be before I get to see him or even hear from him again.

This is all bull shit. None of it is worth it. There is no way this can be seen as something beneficial except to one person and it's not Spiffy. I don't understand why it's not clear. I'm trying to, but it's just... stupid. That's what it is. It's stupid. Screw love. That's not really what this is all about anymore. Maybe it is. But it's not modern, 21st century thinking! Maybe it is. Oh god, our world is crap. But it doesn't have to be. wsexrcftgybhujimomiuytfrdesw456.

I'm really lucky and I know it. Knowing the families I know, I couldn't ask for a better family because I really don't think it gets much better than this.
Most people can't talk to their mom or dad about their problems. I'm grateful that I can. My mom knows pretty much everything about me. Neither of us have secrets from each other and we trust each other fully. Peas in a pod. I bet peas still argue once in a while too, in their pod, but when they're tight, they're tight.
I can talk to my grandma about a lot of things and she tells me her stories and secrets too. Although, I do refrain from elaborating on certain topics... for good reasons.
My brother... well, he usually tells me about his issues. He's young.
I actually opened up quite a bit to my dad the other day, when my brother wasn't around. Maybe my dad will too. Maybe.

But going back to my mom... like I said, she knows everything. She would never go through my things. She would never check my e-mails and chat logs. She would never even open my mail without my permission. (she made sure my grandparents wouldn't either when my schoolwork was being sent to their house.) She wouldn't need to do those things. Snooping is against my mom's moral values.
Privacy. Everyone's entitled to it. Exceptions are when someone's in some kind of danger. Lack of privacy will probably end up in some kind of danger for someone anyway. That doesn't really make sense, so I'm hoping you know what I mean.

I keep jumping from one point to another in this glob. I apologize. It's not very well-written.

I'm skipping ahead to the point: In a nutshell, if you trust your kid, they will trust you.
If you give your kid restriction after restriction, even if it starts out innocently and lovingly enough, it probably won't seem that way and your kid will find a way to get out of it. They'll sneak around and do things behind your back. Should they get caught, and the truth comes out, as it so often does (non-politically speaking, of course), the immediate action is usually APPLY MORE RESTRICTIONS. Tougher restrictions. Making your kid want to go against those restrictions and once again, go behind your back, probably in a more sneaky way than before. Next? -> Caught. -> Restricions. -> Sneak. -> Caught. - Restrictions... Viscious circle. Maybe the trick is to not get caught, but I think it's really to trust your kid, to see things from their point of view, to understand them, or to at least try. Restrictions which may be claimed to bring your kid closer to you, only push them away more. You can see examples of this in many families with a teenager(s). It's pretty simple. Talk to your kid and trust your kid and damn it! - they might just do the same in return.

What a concept.

I'm done writing this for now. It's a pretty crappy post... just ranting... kind of incoherent... oh well.


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Stickers on Fruit?

Song of the Glob: "Stickers on Fruit" by Nancy White. - to quick listen.

Dear Globlets,

I need a shower.
Yes, that HAD to be the first thing you read here and YES, you really needed to know that.

In other news...

I'm currently on the mainland, hiding inside from the unusual, freezing, -10?ish temperatures of this lovely, suburban hell of a town. However, there is snow that has yet to be walked on in my grandparents' yard and it looks ever so inviting... but I fear my lazy side has convinced me to stay in and not bother with the boots, the coat, the hat, the scarf, and the gloves that do no good in keeping my hands dry nor warm... oh no. I'm fine with staying inside, drinking tea, for now. I'm going back home tomorrow and will begin the de-tornadoifying of the house and the general prep-work for Christmas. It's virtually impossible to keep the place clean and organized, especially when you're hauling stuff out from your storage area.

Oh man... there's a sticker on my grandpa's computer (the machine I'm using atm) and not only is it a sticker on my grandpa's computer :P ... but it also says PEEL HERE! And it's still ON it? He wouldn't notice if I took it off. It's so tempting >.< But hey! It's not as easy to remove as they make it seem. Yes, I like to remove stickers. Which brings me to something I'd like to complain about. And where better to complain than here, I say?
Say it with me now.
No, don't.
Think about all the stickers in the whole world that you like, apart from those ones that are shiny or sparkly or pretty or fuzzy or those ones that you scratch that smell nice... I like those...
Right. Now, think about all the stickers one faces on a somewhat daily basis. (Point not applicable to young children or those who still frequently use stickers) Stickers on fruit, for example. I HATE stickers on fruit. There's even a song about it. On bananas and oranges it's okay because you usually don't eat the skin, although sometimes you use orange peel for zest. But on apples? Pears? Nectarines? Peaches? COME ON! It's not easy to get them off and then you're eating little bits of sticky crap left over on your fruit! In Chile I didn't have this problem so much because the fruit was fresh. You don't see stickers on Chilean fruit there saying, "Producto de Chile..." Where else would it be from? UY! (Apples are the worst things to put stickers on, in my opinion.)
And then you have price stickers or labels on other things like clothes, accesories, Christmas gift bags, books, wallets, pens, etc. And what is left on the stickerfied item? That icky, sticky, gucky stuff you can't ever get off unless you've got the proper tools. (water+cloth)
You know how amusing it is to take off the label of a pop drink bottle? It is oh SO very amusing. I insist you try it sometime. Although, it is greatly discouraging when you finally remove the label, only to find that STICKerY bit DOES NOT COME OFF. You go through all the trouble, however amusing it may be... only to find that you can't actually take it completely off.

What a crazy world we live in... and the solution is simple: make stickers with the gluey bit sticky but easy to remove. We have small, amazing, compact pieces of technology... yet too-sticky stickers remain on the skins of fruit that many like to eat... sticker-free.
Of course, all this could be prevented by not eating imported fruits. It's okay to wait 'til fruit is in season. By not eating imported fruits, you not only get to eat better fruit because the time is right, but it also would prevent the need for big trucks to go from place to place, emitting fumes and other harmful substances into our air, it would help local farms and businesses, and it would help your own body stay healthy. ---> There's a mini-rant for you.

I'm off! I get to sleep on an inflatable bed. It doesn't ever sag so I never know how close to the edge I am. >.< It's very strange.

Have a good night and a merry Christmas, happy new year, happy Hanukkah, happy solstice, happy Kwanzaa, and all that jazz, tango, rock, hip hop, rap, country, techno, elevator music, disco, metal, ska, grunge, reggae, house, electronica, jingle, R&B, opera, classical, ditty, folk, etc.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wouldn't you want to know?

Song of the glob: I'd Love to Change the World by Ten Years After

I was watching the news today
*takes moment to sing "I read the news today - oh boy... about the lucky man who made the grade...*
and they were talking about this new law they're thinking about in the US. The law states that doctors would be allowed to withhold information from their patients if it is against said health professional's religious beliefs. I think everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs and they can do whatever they want with them... but you can't withhold information from a patient. The patient has to make medical decisions based on the information they're given and if they're not given ALL the information they're entitled to, then the patient ends up acting on someone else's beliefs. This is applied to abortion, stem cell research, in-vitro (I think), etc. - those kinds of "life" things.
I believe a person can do whatever they want with their body (within reason, of course). People have to be able to make informed decisions about their bodies and it's the doctor's job to give the patient every detail so they can decide what will be best for them. It's simple: the patient should get all the information they deserve and are entitled to; the doctors don't have to agree with the patient's decision or perform the procedures if it is against their beliefs.

That's all I'm posting now because I'm hungry.
I might write more later.
No, I will. I've got more ranting to do.


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Pt.2 of Crazy Weekend + Friends 'n Snow?

Song of the glob: The Wine Song by The Cat Empire

Dear Globlets,

Everybody's FaceBook status is, "Snow-this" and "Snow-that." I guess it kind of - sort of makes sense if you really think about it. After all, there is white crap all over town. Snow in the early morning and at night is the best. Everything is glowing in the dark.
I was trying to sleep last night when a bunch of people, who I'm going to say were in their twenties - students, were outside playing in the snow. It sounded like a lot of fun and I was jealous. I wished I had friends around here that I could call up and say, "Hey, man. There's snow. See you in 5. Bring gloves and your snowball-making skills." A whole group of people would be awesome. I think someone was celebrating their birthday, though, and then when they saw the snow, they decided to go out.
But you know... I'm really grateful for the friends I have, despite my complaining. The only friend I really have around here is Fi and she doesn't live within walking distance. It's not that I haven't met anybody else, but... people don't stick around for very long. It was my fault in two cases, I know, but I'm not really unhappy about that. Being the common denominator, however, is kind of... demoralizing. Maybe it's a good way to tell who your real friends are? But at the same time... you have to be given a chance.
Maybe I shouldn't take it personally, but sometimes it's hard not to.

I have a lot of friends all over the continent and it's really cool. I have people to stay with if I travel, hehe. The only thing is... you have to miss them a lot, and you have a lot of them to miss. It won't always be this way, I don't think, but it still sucks. :P And I felt like sharing because that's what we do here.

In other news...
Part two of my crazy weekend consisted of going to my boyfriend's place without his parents knowing, because if they knew, it wouldn't be allowed. We hung out for a couple of hours... until his mom drove up in the driveway.
"That's... my mom." was a bit of a moment-ruiner... but it was pretty serious. We ran out the back, jumped over the fence to the neighbour's yard and then from the neighbour's yard, over the fence - out. I'd never jumped a single fence in my life 'til then. My pants got all muddy 'cause there was guck on the wood. We walked out by the side of the house, only to find his mom still in the car. Instead of walking to see her with him, I walked over to the neighbour's driveway and kind of "hid" behind the neighbour's truck, still visible because we were already busted anyway. I thought about going over to her but I was too scared. After he and his mom talked, she got out of the car and said something like, "It was nice to see you again." and I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out, that I can remember. If I said anything, it wasn't anything coherent.
He didn't get into as much trouble as we thought he might but... let's just say he wasn't let down easy either.
On the way back home, I stopped at Purdy's and got some chocolate which I found to be quite helpful. (Dark chocolate but with sugar... none of that 80% cocoa stuff :| ... I can't handle that.) I also went to Blenz because when I went to the Starbucks, there was a huge lineup and I basically said, "fuck this" and walked out. There was no lineup at the blenz and they have caffeine too... but I ordered a samosa as well and the girl asked me if I'd like it warmed up. I said "yes, please". She warmed it up. It was really hot on the outside but in the middle it was still frozen! FROZEN. It was gross. The mocha was good though, luckily.
Walking back to my grandparents', it was around three o'clock in the afternoon and the sun was setting, depressingly, and I was really angry, wrinkling half the purple Purdy's bag in my clenched fist. I didn't know what would come out of the whole "getting caught" thing at the time. I am not religious and was, therefore, automatically disliked and prejudiced by certain people. I was angry because I hadn't been given a chance. I was angry because religion still gets in the way of modern 21st century living. I was angry because it was already hard to get to see him before that incident. I'm still angry.
I've been considering writing his parents a letter. If you have any thoughts on what I could write, feel free to leave me a comment.
And that was that.

Well, I'm off to... first, get dressed! And then I'm going to either decorate the tree or go outside to rub my brother's face in the white fluff stuff. Either way, both things will happen. It's so funny... our (fake) tree is so huge that it doesn't fit in our new-old house so we're using the top half and it still looks like a substantially large tree. It's very bushy. And Lucy, the cat, still climbs it.


Monday, December 8, 2008

Portfolio Day / Interesting Weekend Pt.1

Dear Globlets,

Every time I read the word "goblet," I read it as "globlet" now! >.<

This is a terribly long post so I suggest you take a pee now and grab a snack and/or beverage before continuing. Thank you for your cooperation.

[A huge chunk of this glob just got deleted - no idea how - but it cannot be retrieved... so I'm rewriting it. Fuck!!!... Sorry.]

On Friday, we not only got our new stove, finally , but I also spent a long time picking and printing photos for Portfolio Day. I'm very grateful to all my friends who helped with that. I really didn't expect so many people to pitch in and actually take time out of their day to help with their suggestions.
The printer was taking longer than we had anticipated to print the pictures. The last few to emerge from the printer were printed while we were all ready to leave; ourselves equipped with jackets and shoes while Lucy, the cat, was waiting downstairs by the door, hoping to get out.
We tried to made the 19:00 but missed it by a few minutes. We'd driven as fast as we could without drawing flashing lights, sirens and cozzers with a licence to ki... give speeding tickets too close.

I got on the 21:00. Waiting for the ferry to arrive, I was reading my book. At one point I looked up and saw the ferry arriving and I thought to myself, Okay, cool. Shouldn't be too much longer. I'll put the book away after the stampede of people goes by. Some time went by and I heard only a few people walk behind me. I didn't pay too much attention to it but maybe I thought it was just a really un-busy ferry? At 10-past, I looked up to see the ferry was moving! I thought the 21:00 ferry was leaving, without me and for some reason without all the people who, at that point, I began to assume were going to the Gulf Islands instead. My heart was racing and I was panicking, but still trying to keep my cool because my assumption had yet to be confirmed. I thought my missing the 21:00 ferry was because I ignore the ticket-people when they give me my ticket and tell me which berth to go to, since I go back and forth so often, it's always the same berths and I walk to them without even thinking, and, well... What if this time it was a different berth? Oh god. Turns out, my mini-heart attack was unnecessary but still managed to take off a few days of my life. I'm going to die so young, I swear.
I could barely concentrate on my book on the stupid ship. I rarely can. Sometimes I enjoy the ferry ride... but it isn't a common thing.

My grandpa picked me up and drove me to my friend, S' place, after much confusion about how S and I were going to get there in the morning. I stayed the night so we could go to the Uni. together in the morning.
I had actually forgotten to print two of my favourite pictures, (the shoe one and the brick wall one) but my grandpa printed them out for me, even though his printer is kind of crappy, and we picked them up on the way, Saturday morning. My grandma made us sandwiches and gave us some cake in a paper bag; they came in handy, to say the least. >.<

[Awww man! A chunk got deleted here too! RAWR!!! SO MUCH, too.]

I got there some time after 23:00. S and I went over our portfolios and spent a good deal of time arranging my photos in a visually appealing way, narrowing it down to 13. 10-15 pieces of work was recommended due to the time period you'd have with the ECU person; 10-15 mins. We went to bed just after 1:00, I think.
We woke up at 5. It was horrible. I took a quick shower because... well, I'll let you fill in the blanks here. We got ready and then headed off to the nearest Starbucks for some much needed caffeine. I got my soy mocha with no whip in "grande," foolishly thinking I'd actually be able to finish it. I drank half.
"Venti" is as foreign a word to me as George Water is to young, pop-loving teenagers of today - just less tragic.

We arrived at the Uni. at around 7:20 and stood at the end of the semi-short, yet rapidly increasing, lineup. 98% of the people there were Oriental - just a factual/observational statement. At 8:00ish, they opened the doors, unleashing the mob of people like water through a dam which made the early birds unjustly lose their place. It was so disorganized, not thought-through, and caused general mayhem and confusion. I was really disappointed in not only the school for their inability to anticipate and logically organize this widely popular, yearly event, but also in the people who must find courtesy irrelevant or a setback, if not an obstacle, when one is attempting to achieve their goal. The whole thing was just stupid.

After four+ hours of waiting on concrete and of being uncomfortable whether standing or sitting, we were finally let in to see one of "The Big Guns" of ECU. We were in the first round.
And now, the moment of truth:
My designated Big Gun, Rodney, whose name I had to ask twice after he told me ( =bad ), gave me a lot of good advice on how and what to take pictures of in the future. He said he would have liked to see more of my thought process, before and after taking pictures, and I agreed with him that it would be a good idea. I'm all for having a notebook to jot down my thoughts and inspirations and whatnot. I was quite appreciative of what he said in that regard, however, he also made me feel like I was wasting his time; that I was nothing compared to any of the other students who clearly wanted to get in to ECU much more than I did. He flipped through my work pretty darn fast too.

What would I have done differently, knowing what Big Gun, Rodney, would say? I would have picked more pictures, maybe picked different pictures, and not spent so much time worrying about the visually appealing arrangement of each photo in the portfolio (although I cannot say if that was unappreciated altogether). I would have liked to get more criticism on what I already have in my portfolio versus what I don't have. That's more along the lines of what I was expecting. I mean, on the back of the registration form they handed out, was the checklist that the Big Guns fill out, assessing your portfolio. I thought I would do pretty well in most aspects: Experimentation, oh yeah, I have some of that; Variety, yes, I've got a lot of different kinds of photos; Documentation and though process, oh, don't have any of that but maybe I can just explain it to 'em; etc. Yeah, not so much.

He told me I needed to show more variety of arts. I needed more paintings, sketches, drawings, writing, sculptures or industrial 3D stuff; all art forms I'm not interested or experienced in, nor even good at, excluding writing.
My main woman, Fi, had recently told me that the reason she's not interested in ECU is because they focus a lot on other art forms - not just photography. I see what she means now.
In most Uni's, I believe you get in with what you are interested in, with what you've accomplished in that field, and then you take other courses as well, after you've been admitted. For ECU, the first year is the Foundation Year which consists of mandatory courses in many different areas of art - like the ones previously mentioned. The thing I find silly is you have to know a decent amount about all other art forms and you have to be somewhat experienced in those areas. So... what? I have to spend money on courses to learn how to paint so that I can get into the school I like, to which more money will be given, where I will have to work on many art forms while I really only want to study photography? I know I don't have to take courses, but I would feel more confident in showing my work to a Big Gun if I did, naturally. Sure, they'd say that they would look at the deeper meaning, behind the obvious poor attempt at a drawing, for instance, but would that really make my portfolio worthy of acceptance?
Rodney said that students often change their interests to something else during the Foundation Year. That's great. Maybe if I were remotely interested in other art forms, it would be an ideal thing to work for. Music and literature are the only other two art forms I really love. Maybe it's because I've never tried sketching or painting, but nothing about it is really "calling me". I have no motivation to seek skill in the other departments. If I had the choice, I'd spend the rest of my days solely with my piano and other instruments, my camera + equipment, and my computer or pencil, doing the things that I love.

Maybe one day I'll be interested in sculpting. But maybe one day I'll be interested in medicine?
In the end, I've decided to pat ECU gently on the head and walk away to focus on what I'm currently interested in.
I'll do some college courses. There are some great sounding schools near me, so why not? If I feel ECU is right for me in the future, then I will try again and abide by their expectations now that I know what they are. Until then, photography is my passion and will be practiced for as long as my heart wishes...
... indefinitely.

[Part two of "interesting" weekend will follow shortly in different post.]

- Ori.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Dear globlets,

First, I'm sorry. It makes me very happy to know that there are people as cool as the Sarah following my glob! Doug too. However, I feel so noobish right now because I don't know how to "follow" bloggers! :( So uhh, if you could let me know how... it would be much appreciated. Cookies for all!
Well, maybe after Friday. My oven has been deceased for a few weeks now (seems like months) but it will be replaced by something larger than 20 inches wide AND from this century! Oh my god! It might even tell us the temperature! And it might have those handy little nobbies that let you set it to high-medium-low-etc! AND go between low and medium heats? Unbelievable. It will be an extraordinary experience, I'll tell you that. I... I just really want to bake, man! >.<

I'm going to kill myself. No, not really. But I'm going to a thingamabobber at the Emily Carr University this Saturday and I get to go there nice 'n early, around 6-7am, I think. It starts at noon. It will take an hour to get there. Do you see where I'm going with this? I'm going to kill myself! I've never ordered anything "venti" from Starbucks before, but I feel it might be strongly necessary, important, and probably recommended.

This is how I think it's going to go down, if caffeine is not strong within me:
I'm going to look like total crap, first of all... it'll be like, "So this is a picture of... of.................... uhhhhhhhh this is... wait... what is this? What was I thinking when I took it? Ummm... OH! I think it's a duck. NO! *turns it upside down* No, wait... *turns it back around* mmmm oh hey! Hi. How are you? What's your name? You look good. Is that... is that coffee in that mug? Hmm? Chai tea? What's that, like liquid tai chi - energy and exercise for the soul? Sounds good. Kapow-energy! Haha do you mind - thanks. *sip* "
Oh yes, it will go over well. I really have no idea what to expect. I'm a little nervous but... nothing bad can really happen. They won't say, "Holy crap what is this... this seed of the devil? Get out of here. I never want to see you or your work on this island again!"
"You know, Granville Island is not really an isla-"
"I don't care! Get out of here!" *splashes Ori in the face with tai chi* :P
I might cry when they criticize my work though...
"You know, you have to be able to appreciate and learn from criticism if you want to make it in the art world."
"I know! But I'm just *sob* so tired *blows nose* and I've been waiting so long just to have 15 minutes of your highness' precious time! Oh, woe!"
"Aww, here. Have some tai chi..." (Okay, the tai chi thing is officially old. :P sorry)

I'm gonna go now.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

First Glob?

This is not my first glob. I'm not sure who's gonna be allowed to see this; I guess I'll worry about it later.
First, I'd like to clarify that I am well aware that it says "glob" versus "blog." I figure, this is a small glob of my life, kind of like a "speck," "drop," "blot," etc. In other words, a little bit of me... drifting, swimming and... well actually it's just standing still in cyber space, waiting to be ignored by people who have better things to do with their time.
"Hush, little glob. Your wish will be granted soon."
Oh, and I'm really weird. I have a lot of opinions and I am quite willing to stand up for what I believe in. I don't always articulate it, but I try to. If I'm not saying anything, chances are I'm contemplating murder. No... I hold my tongue a lot. But nobody's gonna persuade me into thinking the way they want me to think. I'm pro-free will. I'm trying to say what's on my mind more, but change takes time.

This is going to be it for now. Nobody will actually read this. I guess the idea that this might be floating in cyberspace somewhere, like a leaf on a still lake, you never really know who could come across it. Creepy thought, perhaps so... I'm stopping here. :)

17/F/BC, Canada.