Monday, February 2, 2009

Double-check your worshipping.

Song of the Glob: A Man's World by James Brown.

Dear Globlets,

I've had some questions and statements brewing in my head and now that I'm sick in bed, it seems like a good time to write a devastatingly long and opinionated globulation! Yay for you.

From the start of the bible, my eyebrow raised on numerous occasions regarding the truthfulness of the bible's words.

For example, in Genesis, Chapter 3, a snake talks. A snake talks?! A snake talks. That's believable. Snakes talk all the time! Liiike... in Harry Potter! Yeah! But uhhh... that's a fictional book/movie. - Minus one more point for the bible. What if the snake talked to Adam first? It's likely that he too would have eaten the fruit... but this way makes more sense. Adam would have eaten all the fruit and not shared...! Bloody pig! Kidding. ish. How would he have been punished? Feel pain when he reached his climax during intercourse, and pleasure only during? What a different world it would be if that were the case. And why not try the fruit?

"Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."" So... because of one mistake, one act of curiosity, from hundreds of years ago, women have been undermined by man for centuries. Subjected to man's tyranny, abuse, violence, political idiocy, immoralities, and so on, for ages, why? Because of this. Because of this book. Because it is God's will? Is God not but a man, himself? Do we not refer to him as such? How do we know he's not a black woman? Well, she'd be smarter and would not have done this bible thing, so nevermind. But then again, man wrote the bible, not God. But maybe he's in the form of a platypus? You're worshipping a platypus!

Until the 19th century, women were not allowed to attend schools. (Universities, more-so, and in later 19th century at that.)
Well, who wants a smart woman? Women are to care for the children and the home and desire their husband and forever be under man's thumb, without the education, therefore without the right or ability, to question ways of life, to demand anything of man, to say no. - Slaves... politely, cunningly, religiously. "Because God said so." But is he not all-loving and merciful? Clearly not, if he punishes woman so. What is she? Just a play-thing for man? Tits and a hole? A cooking-cleaning machine? A child-bearing apparatus that you can do whatever, whenever, wherever, however, with?
But where would you be without us, boys? We bring life to the world. Shouldn't you be worshipping us?

But then, on an even more literal level, perhaps the reason women feel such pain during childbirth is not because a god told her to not eat the fruit from a tree and a snake told her that, "God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.", where she then proceeded to believe the snake and to eat the fruit, getting busted, along with Adam, by the g-man, and ultimately receiving punishment for her curiosity, forever and ever... but because of contractions and the fact that a fucking baby is being pushed out from her uterus, stretching and expanding everything so that the growing, little alien can finally, after 9 months, get the hell out of her body.

I don't think childbirth should be pleasant, though. Think about it: if it were, how many MORE people would there be on this planet? :/ Nature isn't an idiot.

But, what? God did that? I bet he did. Remind me not to thank him.


Anonymous said...

You're not the only one that has had difficulty comprehending God:

"He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea.
He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.
When he passes me, I cannot see him; when he goes by, I cannot perceive him." Job 9:8-11

The Bible is God's blog. "It has come to my attention that there are strange, misinformed folks who have not taken the time to understand BLOGS before they tell a blogger what they think they should or shouldn't write in their PERSONAL blog..."

Hey, just funning with you. Chill. It takes time. Don't try to read the Bible like a Stephen King. It can be rough starting in Genesis.

If you really are searching for answers to the tough questions you are asking here in your glob, you won't be disappointed. Those who read just to find fault with the Bible, are never disappointed either. You get what you came for.

Do yourself a favor and skip ahead to the New Testament. Hebrews and Revelation are kinda deep there (read: highly symbolic) so feel free to postpone those. There is some enjoyable stuff in the Old Testament for the new Bible reader. Go for smaller OT books about people like Ruth, Esther, Jonah, Habakkuk. Psalms is a beautiful blog in song, mostly by a musician King. ("Selah" is an instruction to the performers but how the music sounded is unknown.) His son then blogged some great life skills advice to his own son in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. That should get you ready to take another crack at Genesis and beyond.

Describing the existence of God is like explaining the law of gravity to a fish. Not easy. You already believe in the power of many things you can't see: wind, magnetism, electricity. Air has weight (quite a bit!) and whether you believe that or not does not change the fact. Be patient.

Do two people get married, then fall in love, eventually get acquainted and finally introduce themselves? Worship also comes later. Not as some artificial ritual but a natural response of deep gratitude. Like if some stranger pulls you to shore from the icy rapids just before a waterfall - unconscious, resuscitates you, wraps you in thermal blankets, rushes you to the hospital, provides airfare and hotel rooms for your entire family for the duration of your comma, sells his house and possessions to pay your medical bills, leaves a trust fund for your education and then dies of pneumonia due to thermal exposure before you have a chance to meet him.

There is someone who has done more than this for you, and everyone else. Disbelieving won't change that fact. You'll find him in the Bible. Christians just like to show their appreciation by saying thank you. For lack of a better English word, it's called worship.

You might be interested to know that the Bible was written in middle eastern languages more complex than English. Many original words are often assigned to the same English and the same word often is given a different English word based on context. Much of the nuance of the writers is lost in language conversion. You don't need shinny papers to figure this out, but it can help. Some translations, like King James, are tougher for beginners than others.

But if you give up music, you may be giving up the most beautiful part of you. Your instrument is a true friend that is always has time for you and waits patiently when you don't, reflects back to you honestly but will always give you another chance, doesn't remember your mistakes and won't tell you you're not good enough, doesn't care what your hair looks like or what's sagging, won't leave you for someone else and won't get you pregnant. :D Well, it's true!

Sorry for being long-winded. It's your glob, not mine. Just wanted to encourage you to not give up. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Ori. said...

Thanks... I appreciate what you said. But how can the bible be God's blog when he didn't even write it? Man wrote it. Even if there is a god, couldn't man have switched things up a bit?
What makes Christianity better or any different or more true than any other religion?
Wind, electricity and magnetism can be explained.
If the world was created just a few thousand years ago, why is it that in any elementary/secondary science text book, dinosaurs are said to have existed millions of years ago? Are their bones and fossils really not that old? What about those people who devote their lives to archaeology and the study of prehistoric times and remains? Don't they know more about that kind of thing than anyone else? Isn't evolution just that much more believable than the bible?
I have to save some of this for my next post...
If I'm missing something, if I'm misunderstanding something in the bible and you understand it, if anyone understands it, please enlighten me. How can a person worship something they don't understand?
I understand that the bible was written in a different language, I was just being silly when I asked if it was written in English. I'm not that stupid. :P I speak Spanish and know the difficulty of translating certain words all too well. Jokes are rarely the same in a different language. >.<

I need to make a decision on what I'm going to do with myself... soon.

"Hope you're feeling better soon." - Thank you, I plan to. :P

Anonymous said...

If cake ingredients are mixed and then, when it doesn't rise properly, found to have had salt measured for what should have been sugar, what should be done with that batter? What if the cake is someones life?

"If I'm missing something, if I'm misunderstanding something in the bible and you understand it, if anyone understands it, please enlighten me."

There are Bible answers to all your questions, but could any explanation make a difference to you now? I wish I had something to offer.

Ok, I have one thing, but you really won't like to hear it. So better if not said. I'll substitute something more pleasant:

If enlightenment came in a pill it would be a placebo. It only makes a difference if you really want it to and believe it will. Likewise, it does nothing if that is what you expect.

See? No difference. Sorry. But do keep reading your Bible. Loads of good stuff in there. Better than anything I could say. Really. Have you read any of the New Testament yet?

Ori. said...

If the cake is made with salt instead of sugar, you throw it out and start again. Why and how is a person's life dragged into this? I'm not sure what you mean by it. I'm getting a little tired of hearing analogy after analogy to explain things...
A person's life is not a cake recipe. You cannot make a person's life turn out the way you want it to. Life is a seed in the earth that grows according to its environment, literally and figuratively.

This book is completely ridiculous, illogical and backwards. It contradicts itself, it promotes horrible things and has proven that these words of MEN have offered more destruction and suffering than any good that a priest or pastor may preach. I already knew this, so I learned nothing. But now I have confidence in what I know.

You can't explain the bible with the bible. If you don't understand something when reading Shakespeare, you don't just continue reading Shakespeare.
If I want to understand the bible, I would have to believe in it first?! I would have to have faith in God and such, beforehand? That's bullocks. The only reason 99% of believers believe in their religion is because it was taught to be the one and only correct religion. If you'd grown up in a Muslim country, chances are you'd be Muslim. If you grew up in Ancient Greece, you'd probably believe in Zeus.

I was never told that there is no god but I was also never told that there was one. Now I'm old enough to understand science and certain ways of life, and I have seen enough evidence to prove that the existence of any "supreme being" would be a mere story. - A story to answer previously unanswerable questions.

What is so great about the bible?
"Loads of good stuff in there." Like what?

And you don't need to be "pleasant." Put 'em up. :P