Sunday, February 15, 2009

Live now, die later.




Song of the Glob: Moving in Stereo

Dear Globlets,

This is a comment I posted on a friend's Vlog a while back, discussing afterlife. He says that this life is like "the primer" and heaven is basically the ultimate joint to chill at. - This is the warm-up before the big game. And my response to that was this:

Then why not just kill ourselves?... like when you're middle aged or older and afraid of getting old, when you hit hard times, or when you're still young and beautiful to spend eternity in heaven looking good (maybe you'll be less shallow in heaven but til then, you're still human)... Why don't people kill themselves more often if 80:millions of years is so appealing?
That's why suicide bombers are diggin' the suicide part of their killings. Muslim martyrs are promised 72 virgins, despite the gaping loopholes of such an idea... (Like once you've had sex with all of them, you end up with 72 wives and maybe close to a hundred kids. Or if you're gay, what are you going to do with 72 female virgins?) and they kill themselves a lot... they're one step ahead: paradise before 45.
How does heaven work, anyway? It's rather vague to me. They should have a pamphlet.
If you die old, do you stay old in heaven?
Or if a baby dies, who has no concept of any god, do they go to "the" heaven and remain a baby forever?
Or if a member of a tribe of natives that has never worshipped any higher being, without any knowledge of gods at all, what happens to them? Just because they don't know about god, is that enough reason to deny them eternity? Shouldn't he be working on making himself known to all beings? I was told once that I'd have a choice (?), being a non-believer, but why would I want to spend eternity with the big guns if I denied 'em for so long? What if I wanted to be up there? Would I be allowed?
And what will you do for all eternity??!!
I'm quite happy with the idea that my death would be around 80, assuming all goes well. It probably won't, but who knows, maybe it'll be better. I wouldn't want to live longer than that. Is this life not in vain if there is an eternal afterlife? I know it doesn't have to be. But seriously, let's kill ourselves before we get old, sick and useless! Why not? We really might as well.

One of my all-time favourite quotes is from the classic, To Kill A Mockingbird: "There are just some kind of men who are so busy worrying about the next world that they never learn to live in this one." - Miss Maudie.

1 comment:

Kendra said...

Allow me to bring my considerably geeky mythological knowledge to the subject. Ahem...

Heaven is not necessarily a physical place for the Christians. In heaven you have no body and therefore, no age.

In Catholicism, if a child dies before the age of eight they automatically go to heaven.

According to Dante 'virtuous pagans' (all around good people who didn't know or believe in the Christian god) were sent to the first circle of hell, which actually wasn't that bad a place.

And some believe that the actual translation of the Qu'ran is 72 white raisins. Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.

Not that anyone has ever credited the Bible with making an over-abundance of sense in the first place...