Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Men will be boys.

Song of the Day: Buttons by Kinnie Starr

The following is the description for a Facebook group titled, National Man Day.

Man Candles - Pretty good...
How to get a lady - Pretty insane.

This day is the day for all men to stand up and say, "Yes, I am a Man." And "Yes, I will step up and do manly things and whatever I want to do on this glorious day!" [But guys do whatever they want all the time anyway...]
Come, make history! [Down boy, haven't you been doing enough of that? Unless you make history for the better...] Be a part of National Man day. Take the world by the throat [Gotta stop taking things like that... no one will comply willingly...] and tell them it's ok to watch Rocky movies all day. Tell them it's fine if you sit in your favorite chair and scratch yourself. Tell them it's normal to go shoot stuff or blow something up. Why? Because YOU ARE A MAN!!! [So if you're a woman and you like blowing stuff up, then you actually have testicles?]
You aren't some nancy that likes to frolic in the fields, unless it's a field of mines and you have an AK47 and a hand full of grenades... Then you really are a man! [UGH! Well, if you're violent, then you must be a man, right?]
Yes on this day, men across the nation will be saying, "Screw you salad bar, with your salad and light dressings!" Men will step up and say, "I'll take that 20 oz steak, and yes, I'll eat it all. Because I'm a man!" [Somebody's not getting laid tonight...]

I'm not asking you to throw some sissy party, or to go buy a new power tie because you're a man. All I'm asking you to do is step up live this day like a man would. Blow something up, shoot some animal, punch your buddy in the face for no reason, be a good father, play football and literally (???)knock someone's head off... Do something manly. Be a man like God intended you to be... [They had AK47's 2000 years ago?]
Take this day and celebrate your manhood! [Because you won't be getting laid, right? Gonna spend two hours on the can afterwards, then jack off while looking at yourself and your enormous manhood in the mirror. What woman would not want something so good looking? 300 pounds of sexy, manly, scruffy, gorgeous, big, sweaty man meat. Kill me now.
All right, let's get to the globbing...]


Dear Globlets,

Two hundred thousand boys have joined this National Man Day Facebook group. I say "boys" because that's what they are. These are the boys that still live at home, or who think women are to serve them and think they actually deserve that. They're the boys who, when a relationship fails, will forever believe it was the female's fault. They're the boys who think girls should blow them and they probably pressure their girlfriends into performing sexually with them. Guys who believe all this never grow up because they depend on women to do stuff for them, just like their mothers would. A wife is the mom you can screw. And that isn't fair to women. It's what women have been running from, and they should. Women deserve better and always have, always will. It saddens me when girls grow up in an environment where male superiority is taught to be right, the way of life.
These boys have never grown up. Men will do those things regardless of any "holiday", but by enforcing this "holiday," it's like everybody else has to make way for them and to kiss the ring on their finger which is connected to the same hand with which they, moments ago, scratched their hairy balls. Mmmm, yes!
No. It's disgusting. If you're itchy down there, take a shower. Go clean yourself. Maybe you have lice in your pubes! It would be really great if guys could scratch themselves in the bathroom and then promptly wash their hands. I'm not about to reach down there and scratch my crotch out in the open...

There is so much violence associated with manliness that it sickens me, it pisses me off, and makes me think a lot less of the whole second half of humanity. Causing harm, being destructive, killing and beating people and things doesn't make you a man. It makes you an animal. To have such little regard for others, you might as well give an ape a gun. They'll shoot, hear a bang, get excited, do it again and again, kill a couple of things, become fascinated by it, along with the dead, maybe even feel empowered by it, eat a banana, and continue... That's how I imagine an ape would react with a weapon. Isn't that what happens to boys/men when they use guns too?
Hunting and killing for pleasure are two different things. Hunting doesn't bother me as long as it is done in moderation or if it's a way of life, to gather food, as it has been done since the beginning of time.

Apart from all of this, all the violence, demoralization of women and stupidity that men seem to constantly leak and spew out from their tiny little pricks all over the face of the earth, the one thing that really got to me about this whole thing was the "be a good father" bit. Notice how it was right next to "punch your buddy in the face for no reason." What great role models these men are. I feel sorry for the kids. You know what's going to happen to them? Their fathers will not show enough love towards them during their childhood. They will not hug, hold, or kiss them, for fear of being called homosexual or something similarly stupid, just as their fathers had done to them, and the children will become angry but will still want to be good enough for their fathers, so they will go hunting (or something) with them, because they just want their dads to love them. They will grow up like their fathers unless they manage to change and be a stronger person.

I don't believe all men are like this. Please do not make the mistake of thinking that that's what I think. There are good men out there, it's just hard to find them sometimes.

Women and children deserve better.
Take a shower, shave, put on some pants, make yourself a sandwich, and should you have the balls to wear a pink shirt, enough guts to care, the courage to show your love, then you're already more of a man than any ape with a gun or lumberjack/redneck.


Here are some more quotes from the Facebook group to piss you off:

"Men: Thanks for all the great pics and support! We as men need to stand up and take back this country! Remember when Men ruled the ENTIRE world? Neither do I because we have failed to meet the challenges that have faced us as men. We need to start acting like we have a pair of balls and stop doing things like watching Dancing with the stars and driving Mazda Miata convertibles.

National Man Day is about acting like a Man & taking responsibility for things we can control. Be a better father to your kids, hit the gym, punch a gorilla in the face, treat women like a gentleman, and most of all BE A MAN! A glorious testosterone filled, standing up when you piss MAN!" - Aaron and Joel Longanecker, National Man Day Founders

"finally.....i can now sit on the couch on June 15th with my hand in my waist line....and not have to answer any questions why I'm doing it. Why is that....because I'm a man....and it's man day! Now make me my steak woman!!!!" - Eric

"im just gonna browse the list of "non men" who declined this wonderful oppritunity to do something with their lives" - Brandon, whose picture is of two shirtless, pantless guys, one is probably him, dicks within centimetres of each other, pissing on something.

I like this one (duh):
"Well, if I'm not mistaken, I believe that March 14th is Steak and Blowjob day, also followed by Cake and Cunnilingus day on April 14th." - Claire, replied to with...
"OMG ITS A GIRL! GTFB2 kitchen." - Glenn

3 comments:

Mommet said...

I think you're giving boys a bad name here. I think these poor excuses for the male half of the population don't deserve to be called boys or men. They don't deserve to be called human.

On the positive side, I think this is a very North American phenomenon. I sincerely doubt there are many Frenchmen or Swedes or even Chileans who have these Neanderthal attitudes. Oops, I may have insulted Neanderthals just now.

Sarah said...

How many Frenchmen/Swedes/Chileans do you know? :P
Though I agree, and I think it has a lot to do with the Media and the whole American hollywood industry.
I watch British television a good deal, and I find far fewer occurrences of this kind of chauvinism...

Mommet said...

Actually, I know quite a few Europeans and Chileans; I do speak from personal experience. Canadians who are immigrants themselves (even those who came here when they were very young) are very different from the stereotypical losers. I know many of them too. If you watched a lot of European movies, something we do a lot, you would totally see a difference. I doubt it's the media that's solely responsible for the bad behaviour but it definitely doesn't help.