Sunday, February 15, 2009

Stick. Carrot. Ass.


Dear Globlets,

For those of you just joining us now, I'd been giving Christianity and the bible a chance... I wanted to see if it were at all logical or remotely possible for the "word of God" to be true. I was entertaining the idea. So I began reading the bible. [First Bible-Questioning] I don't know how much more of this I'd be able to take. I'm not going to read the whole bible, I have better ways to spend my time. This will probably be one of the last religion-based globulations. There are just way too many loopholes in the bible and there are plenty of people who have already pointed them out. Fighting over the truth is not worth my time. I get too angry when people refuse to remove their blinders and see the light, which actually came from a star, the sun (not from any god), which creates photosynthesis in plants, causing them to grow, with the addition of water, etc. :o

What is the bible to me? The bible is a book (refutable by any 9th grade science text book) that was written by man to explain the things that their ill-equipped, 2000 year-old minds could not comprehend, writing it in such a way to benefit the heterosexual MAN. Then why, later in the bible, are there so many incidents of homosexuality? Even incest...
For example: Genesis 19:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, so that we may know them. - Wanting some gay sex...
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Eh?
Shortly after...
Genesis 19:8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof. - That's nice. Give your virgin daughters to a bunch of guys so they don't screw the other guys. I'm sure the girls will be happy with this idea. Turns out Lot, the dad, lied to the guys because the daughters were married and likely to have already been deflowered.
A glimpse of the incest in the bible:
Genesis 19:30-36 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. - This is great. It's like... reading this in the bible makes incest okay...

Aaand back to the beginning...

What did God do before he created the Earth and how long was he around for? How did God come to be? Was there nothing before Earth? Nothing before 6000 years ago? Did God create those galaxies light-years away as well? The Milky Way? Did God create the other planets and the stars? No. He didn't. Space is so vast, no one in the time the bible was written could even begin to understand the enormity of space. They couldn't incorporate any space business to the bible even if they wanted to.
Let's say Adam and Eve did take some time to "BowChickaWowWow" and Eve had a son, Cain, who killed her second son, Abel. Later, Cain "BowChickaWowWowed" his wife and she had a son, of course, and... WAIT A MINUTE! Woah! Where did this wife come from? Let's see...
1 + 1 = 3, + 1, - 1 = 3. Not 4.
In English: Adam + Eve = Adam, Eve and Cain + Abel - Abel (killed) = Adam, Eve and Cain again... Did Cain screw his mom or his long-lost sister?
Does anyone know what happens when people related by blood mate with each other? They make humans with deformities, physical and/or mental. So if the brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers all had sexual relations with each other, they'd all look like weird little freaks, as would we.
Genesis 4:17, baby. After 4:17, all these sons were springing up from out of the ground, thanks to mysterious unnamed women or their mother, and some of those men took two wives. It's always been okay for men to have more than one wife. :) Since a man usually only has one penis, if they have sex with one of their wives, couldn't you say they're cheating on the other wife, breaking one of the ten commandments? Committing adultery. I'm stretching it, I know.
Leviticus 20:17 And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.
What makes the Christian god/religion better than any other? What makes it more right? This god or any other god is about as believable to me as the tooth fairy or the boogie man or Zeus.
Christians love using quotes from the bible, especially to answer questions they don't really know the answer to. I long for straight-up answers. They always use the nice quotes and forget about the bad stuff in the bible like the violence, murder, the result of committing homosexual acts, incest, and all those unmerciful consequences of whatever God dislikes, or rather, of what Man dislikes, regardless of the fact that the bible encourages some of those acts sometimes... Oh man. It's just too confusing. Why don't they see this? I feel like slapping certain people around and shaking them, saying, "Wake up! Get a grip!"

I'm going to stick to logic and facts and you can stick to some old man-made book that has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
If you can't read the bible and really think about what it says, if you keep your blinders on to hide from reason, then all I ask of you is to keep religion to yourself and don't indoctrinate your kids before they've been exposed to, and are old enough to understand, all religions.

See Religulous

Raise an eyebrow or two - Swiss Cheese

But, see, religious people will probably not look into any of these links or the video because it's outside of their blinders.

Eat what you're fed and go where you're being led.

How is the bible bull shit?

5 comments:

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kendra said...

Most of the inconsistencies in the Bible come from the fact that it had hundreds, maybe thousands, or different writers over hundreds of years covering two religions. Trying to rectify the ye olde smiting god of the ancient nomadic tribes and the supposedly loving and caring god of the gospels is bound to require a leap of faith.

In the gnostic book "The Life of Adam and Eve", Cain is said to marry his youngest sister who is never named. Adam and Eve have upwards of twenty kids after Cain, Abel and Seth.

The incident with Lot in Sodom (where the neighbours want to sex up the angels) is soon followed by the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah due the sinful ways of the inhabitants of both cities (Sodom is the source of the words sodomite and sodomy in English today). So at least in this sense, it's an example of homosexuality being sinful (although I'm not sure if sex with an gel would fall under that, what with them being genderless and all...).

As for the incest with his daughters, I'm pretty sure that after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah the two daughters think they're the only humans left alive so they think they're saving humanity and whatnot. That's the Old Testament for ya.

The only thing that makes the Christian god better than any of the others is the amount of follower he's got. That's all it is. There's nothing in the dogma that answers any burning questions about the nature of the universe, Yeshua is just popular. He's like a security blanket that we had as children to feel safe and we just never grew out of.

Ori. said...

Right, and all those writers were human. They were men. If there are more than one author, writing any book without consulting/informing all the other authors of the book, there are bound to be inconsistencies. Since it's the holy bible we're talking about, if it really were the "word of God," why wouldn't he make sure the writings were accurate?

Even if Cain's wife isn't as mysterious as she may first seem, it's still incest. Again, as is stated in Leviticus 20:17, you shouldn't have sex with your sister.

Yes, I think it said somewhere that the daughters thought there was no one else around so they'd do their father to keep things groovy. If what they thought was actually true, their babies would have deformities, as would they since there had been generations and generations of incest before them.


Also, during this month, yes, I have read parts of the bible and questioned them based on logic, reason and facts. If there is logic, reason and facts in the bible, please let me know. Don't think I don't want to know...
I'm not calling anyone an idiot and I'm not saying women allow themselves to be degraded. Some may because it is their duty to obey, so they are told. They WERE taught to be wives. Some still are. The bible seems to often be the man behind the man behind the curtain.
Maybe Religulous and the Penn & Teller videos will offend people, but the Skeptic Annotated Bible really just points out inconsistencies and makes you think a little more about what the bible really says. You can read things by chapter in both testaments or by highlighted topics like women, sex, violence, and good things as well. It's not all bad... just most of it, it seems. >.<

PS. Grade 9 science text books say dinosaurs lived million of years ago... that's what I meant by "refutable by any 9th grade science text book."

Kendra said...

I definitely agree that it's not a logical book. It's hard to believe that so many people throughout the world have chosen to shape their lives on such an unfounded collection of stories and that it's even a question whether or not it should be taught in schools and so on. Almost none of it holds up under rational thought and a lot of it probably never even happened. The Bible is obviously by no means the word of god.

However, I do find the mythology very interesting, the same way I would find Greek or Egyptian mythology interesting. Nowadays people look back at the myths of the Greek and giggle and it's starting to happen with Christianity.

I mean, I'm the most atheistic prick you're likely to find! I thought "Religulous" with Bill Mahr was phenomenal and other films like it (if you're looking to get the crap scared out of you by religion, rent "Jesus Camp"). But I do find the story aspect of it interesting purely on a mythological level.

Mommet said...

Well said, Kendra. I, too, since my early catechism classes have thought of the stories of the bible to be mythical and at par with old Greek and Roman myths. When I was young I found it all rather romantic. Imagine my horror when I found out Bethlehem is an actual place. OK, not horror, just general disbelief. Jesus's actual existence was more of a shock (I've done some research into this and it seems that there is enough evidence of his actual existence; what he said and did is a totally different story. Then again, there were plenty of dudes called Jesus in those days, or rather Yeshua). It certainly didn't change my position that the whole thing (biblical stories, et al) was totally made up. Even as a kid I recognized fiction for what it was.

That said, I still prefer to read about Prometheus or Sisyphus than Lot and his lot. At least the old Greeks knew how to spin a good yarn and not try to confuse each story by contradictions.

It is rather a shame that humanity has been influenced by this book (bible) for so long; I don't think that speaks to the quality of the writings but rather to naiveté and laziness of so many to think for themselves. And fear. Lots and lots of fear.

Great to have you aboard!