Monday, April 6, 2009

I Love My Vagina.



Song of the glob: Cell Block Tango from the Chicago soundtrack.

Dear Globlets,

I am very glad I am female. Seriously, I would never give up menstruation, premenstrual moodi/bitchiness, cramps and bloating, or my boobs, my vagina, emotional and psychological problems regarding self-image, and so on, for a penis. Please note: I'm writing this with heavy-duty cramps and a lovely hot-waterbottle behind me. That's really saying something. It's not to say that men don't have boobs, moodi/bitchiness and bloating, of course, just as I don't mean that women don't have dicks. Face it, this is the 21st century. You can get anything you want for the right price. Except for world peace and love to come when and how you want it and the ability to prevent world hunger and homelessness and a penguin to have as a pet in your Manhattan apartment and a healthy hamburger or ice-cream and a movie that turns out to be better than the book and for hate crimes to cease and to be able to complete a Rubik's cube by looking at it and mastering levitation and for seeing your dead great-great-grandmother and go back in time for a day to the house where you grew up. But you can twist some of those thing to make them "happen," and the end of world hunger/homelessness is totally possible in this day and age but... where's the profit?

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Female > Male. And it seems to be true: we are much more efficient and important beings, we multi-task, we bring life, we sustain that life (I won't ever understand people who dislike breast-feeding in public), we remember the little things and do things without having to be told, we look at one thing and see five other things (and no, I don't mean because we're crazy), and I might as well throw in the crime rate difference for men and women.
It is a curse and a blessing for the women who think five moves ahead. We know what has to be done, we see it before it's in front of us, we think of it before anyone points it out, and we do it not for ourselves, nor for someone else, but simply because it has to be done. No medal expected; no medal asked for.
It's also a curse because most men don't have the same mindset.
To cover my ass: not all women are good at the game like this (although you have to ask why) and not all men are careless, carefree, churls. "

The problem is, most guys I've met are just that. Unless you point, shove their face in something, and say "LOOK HERE," they won't see it. Oh, sweet ignorance and delicious obliviousness.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that women are perfect, but we seem to do a much better job at Life-chess than men. Why is that? Why don't men unselfishly see the bigger picture and see what's outside of the box? Why do they still hold empty paper-towel rolls up to their eyes? Why do they so often have selective hearing? Why do they have to ask, "Well, what's in it for me?" Why does it have to benefit them personally for something to get done?
It's because they just don't care. They really don't. They like to think they do, and they like to say they do, but then they don't let you forget that "they do."

I think selfishness is a branch of carelessness. You don't care about anything or anyone else, you don't care about the affects of your actions or lack thereof; you care only about yourself. And that's a mistake.
Another mistake is to think that you're doing a good job when you're not. It's important to not convince yourself that you're rockin' the chessboard scene because if you think that, you've got the empty paper-towel rolls around your eyes again. Chances are, you're doing exactly what you think you're not. Out of selfishness? Maybe that's not the right word. Sanctimoniousness? (What a sexy freakin' word!)
But... "Boys will be boys."
Well, you know what? That's not okay with me and it shouldn't be for anyone!
"Girls will be girls." Does that mean girls have to obsess over fashion, shoes, clothes, shopping, celebrities and glamour? Does my goal in life have to be to marry someone and raise a family?

Man, I am so tired of the media telling me what I should do, shouldn't do, what I should look like, purchase, boycott, watch, listen to, read, think, feel, believe, love, hate, etc. I'm so glad I've managed to create a decent filter for these things. But then I worry about the younger people, the weaker people, the people who are fed the media and eat it up like they haven't eaten in years because that's all they know. It pisses me off.
Some stereotypes were created for a reason. Others piss me off so much that if these shoes didn't cost me $680, I'd throw one at them.

That's leading to another topic that I'm not prepared to globulate about just yet. But don't worry, I have some ideas up my sleeve... and maybe a butcher's knife too.
You'll see.

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