Sunday, May 3, 2009

Get a job!... Well, okay.

(Don't know if I used this photo already, but it's fitting... so there!)

Dear Globlets,

I am so tired. I have a job! And that is why I'm tired. No more sleeping in (especially when I need a shower in the morning), no more waiting 'til I'm hungry to eat, no more knowing what day it is (yes, there have been times when I was capable of this), but most importantly: NO MORE BEING BROKE ALL THE TIME! It's good. I got paid the other day with a sexy cheque of three hundred sexy something dollars. I take showers at night sometimes so I don't have to worry about time in the morning.
I got some shoes and tops and dresses. I have an excuse: they're for work, except for my orange shoes because they're high-heeled sandals. You need close-toed shoes when working in a kitchen so when a knife falls on your toe and your toe is falling off, it's okay! Because you know that the shoe will not let your toe roll around on the kitchen floor and have a piece of sausage or carrot be mistaken for your toe. Oh, the embarrassment when you show up at the hospital, foot bleeding and missing a toe, and you hand the doctor or nurse your toe which you kept in a Ziploc bag with some ice... only to find that you're asking them to sew on a carrot to your foot. Or a chunk of zuchini... but if that's something you can mistake your toe for, please go see a doctor immediately.

One of the pairs of shoes that I got, I wore to work one day. I hadn't worn them before and, well, that was a mistake. Wear your shoes at home before you go to work where you plan to spend 4 hours on your feet. Not even halfway there I called up my mom and she brought me my runners. So grateful. Here's a picture of what they did to me:

Hey, yeah! You're welcome for the images! No problem! Hmmm... now I'm worried they may be too yucky. Well, only look once.

I haven't worn shoes other than flip-flops and my runners since then. I can't. Bastards. I really want to wear my new shoes! Even with a bandaid it hurts. Bastards. Plus, the bandaid comes off easily. And you know what else? Nothing. I just wanted to say 'bastards' again.

So, about my job... It's $9/hour, Tuesday to Saturday, 10AM to 2PM. Now, don't get all fussy with me being fussy about not being able sleep in. Mornings suck and I need time to get ready. For the longest time I couldn't eat anything in the morning before work. I still have trouble but the last two mornings, I've had a decent breakfast: toast + REAL (fucking!) Kraft Mayonnaise + basted soft egg. A tea before food helps too. And I usually have a mocha so I don't fall asleep at work and end up cutting up non-required raisins for pecan tarts and slicing tomatoes for a pizza I was never supposed to make. They don't even serve pizza.

What do I do there, then? I take people's money and give them food. I make sandwiches and bake stuff like pecan tarts (which I love and so does my brother, surprisingly). It's a really cool place. Very small. I had asked something about something "being in the back" and my boss laughed and told me that this was it, it was all here. The kitchen is basically the size of a regular kitchen, just with a bigger island. They make all kinds of stuff there... lasagnes, chicken Florentine, scones, squares, tarts, cake loaves, muffins, soups, sandwiches, omelettes, etc. If there's something not in the deli, someone will make it for you. But don't expect cabbage rolls just because you ask for them. A sandwich, however, is doable. I don't do coffees much yet but I probably will soon. I can make the drip coffee ($2.00 and free refills all day). I clean the tables and do the dishes and get very warm when the oven is on and/or the dishes are going in or out of the dish sanitizer thingy... I get at least one free facial every day. Too bad it's not desired whatsoever... especially when your face is coated in a light layer of sweat and you have to help a customer. They look at you like you're Nicholas Cage in 'Adaptation.'- He sweats profusely when he's nervous. (Minute 4:05)

That's all for today, kids! And, that thing about cutting off one's toe... don't try that at home.
Try it at the mall!
It'll freak the crap out of people! :D