Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tentacles!


Song of the Glob: Go West by The Petshop Boys (because West = left) (Village People did this too)

Dear Globlets,

Do dodo dodo do do do dooooo dodododoooo dodododooo!

And in other news...
I met Tentacles in person for the first time ever and I was not kidnapped, drugged, raped, beaten to a bloody pulp, murdered, cut up into chunks, put in a body bag and dumped in the Fraser River! That was a plus. I refuse to have any kind of relationship with someone who does that. I had a really great time with him and due to recent NAGGING I've decided to write about it. Just kidding. I wanted to write about it anyway. It's definitely epic enough to share.

I had things all planned out: My dad would come pick me and my brother up from our grandparents' in the morning, take us out for breakfast at the IHOP because Vancouver Island is completely IHOPless, he'd drive me into town to meet Tentacles while he and my brother hung out and did stuff elsewhere. Little did we know, some idiots were running around Vancouver for no reason other than to, well, run. They were causing major traffic problems around town.
I already think running is weird but running for the sake of running when you could run to raise money for or awareness of something instead... I don't get.
My dad said he'd take me to Metrotown where I would then take the skytrain to meet Tentacles at the "Whale Station." I took the skytrain all by myself for the first time! =O I'm a big girl now!

Some texts I received:
"Meet me at the station."
"I just got here."
"I can wait. How long?"
"Go left when you get to the top I'm on a bench. Hit me if I have my eyes closed."

Now that I reread the last one, I understand a little better but when I read it the first time I thought he meant that once I got off the train, then I should go left. I arrived. To my left I saw seats but no Tentacles. If I'd continued left, I would have gone onto the skytrain tracks and died a most horrible, gruesome death. I followed all the other people. There was a big space filled with people going up and down the several staircases that led out of the space and I went UP the one to the street. UP. UP. UP. I looked around because I went UP and I realized that the text message said something about UP. UP I wound UP and still no sign of Tentacles UP there. There was, however, a whale. I called him UP and said I couldn't go left, and when I went UP and looked left, there was no Tentacles. I told him I was by the whale and he didn't know what I was talking about. I told him to find me. So he did. He completely missed the whale fountain that was straight ahead from the stairs that I came UP on. It was silly-awkward for a few seconds but then we walked and it was good.
...UP! Left...

He seemed to be incapable of making a decision about where to walk so I decided that we would walk, and I quote, "in a straight line" until he decided which way to go. Yup, a STRAIGHT LINE. There were many straight lines...
It didn't work. I ended up deciding where to go anyway, but that was all right.

At one point we were distracted by a herd (yes, a herd) of pigeons. We discussed them and attempted to interview the brown one because we were curious as to why the hell it was brown and all the others were not. Then we decided to catch one. We agreed to CORNER one.
"You go this way, I go that way!" ... "OKAY!"
We grew closer and closer and closer and they were being cornered more and more and more and we were going to get it, get it, get it and we almost had it, had it, had it and then all of a sudden! it flew up at us! past me and I squealed! and I was embarrassed because of it...
And this is how I learned that pigeons in Vancouver could fly. Who would have thought? Seriously, though, the fact the a pigeon was a bird and therefore had the ability to fly didn't cross my mind for a second. It was not even a possibility. Why would a pigeon fly? WHY?! Really, whose idea was that!?
I was reminded of the time I was walking with Fi and her sister and they saw a cute bird they wanted to catch. They suggested I catch it because I am "lowest to the ground" and I "don't have to reach very far," and because I simply had to bend down ever so slightly to get the bird... because I'm so short. It wouldn't have even seen me coming. <3

Tentacles and I went for Chinese after I introduced him to Blenz's strawberry Fruitchillos which he enjoyed. They're good. I like the apple and mango ones a lot too. I ordered the food at the Chinese place because he didn't know what to order. I ordered some ginger pork thing and as it turns out, he doesn't like ginger. Silly boy. I ate too much. Silly girl.

We be'd silly together and walked in more straight lines and decided that if he wears chaps, then I wear the sexy nurse outfit.
Later, a fly decided that it wanted some human female action and dove down my shirt, between my boobs, and then out of my shirt. Tentacles wished he'd been that fly for a second.
Oh, and we also almost had sex in an alley on top of a hobo and some random mattresses that were lying around. Yeah, it was a close one.

In the end, I learned that birds can fly, flies can dive, paper can be frogs, no to ginger, yes to strawberry fruitchillos, walking in straight lines with Tentacles is awesome, they have special fields for sexually confused soccer players on roofs of buildings, roofs is spelled "roofs" and not "rooves" for some reason, unlike "hoof" and "hooves", and the idea that dots, squares, and stripes, are the shit, is felt mutually.

Right now I'm super tired and could have made this post slightly funnier but my brain is turning to mush, and the zombies won't like it if it's like this.
I want a nap. But I have so much to do. Crap.

Do dodo dodo do do do dooooo dodododoooo dodododooo!

3 comments:

Displaynamehere said...

I'll buy that nurses dress thingey for you. Seriously. :)

Ori. said...

I dare you.

Displaynamehere said...

I will! You need to wear it though >.<