Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Muffins, poetically .

Song of the Glob: Heart by Swollen Members

Dear Globlets,

It will seem like I'm turning this into something it's not, making a big issue out of nothing, etc. Maybe I am? A little? I'm just using it...

Muffins were mentioned on a forum on DH's Facebook status and DH brought up how he believes "Muffins are just ugly cupcakes," and being a muffin-lover and baker, I stood up for them. Muffins don't have legs, you know.

Me: You're a dick. Muffins are not ugly cupcakes! They're just... not ready to go to a party.
And you know what? You don't deserve muffins. I'm going to bake an army and when you come to get the spoons, the house will smell like delicious, fresh, sweet muffins... and I will take one and say, "I'd offer you one but it's not a cupcake so I know you won't like it. Muffin-hater." And I'd bite into it and unleash the muffiny scent into the air and you will smell it and see it's still warm and you'll think to yourself, "Shit, I should have been nicer to the muffins."

DH's friend replied: We have an intense muffin war going on. Simon, I'd be more than happy to give you a muffin, because you are great and deserve to partake in any pastry you want.

I did not agree.

Me: Oh, I think pies and cakes and cookies and brownies and everything else will be fine for Simon-feeding. Sure, he deserves them, because he hasn't called them names. But, "Muffins are just ugly cupcakes" sounds mean and... :( maybe muffins have feelings too.

DH's friend: Well, in retrospect, muffins are like the cupcake's lame sister, because they're not sweet enough to have colourful icing!!
It's all about strudels, anyway!

So she's really taken his side, eh?

Me: Or maybe muffins are so sweet that they don't need icing?
Maybe they're beautiful because they don't need it.
And maybe cupcakes are just pretty because they've got icing?

I stopped there because things could get nasty. I like to make things nasty. I'm a nasty little girl. Okay, that's sounding nasty.

But really, I love muffins. The huge ones at work, especially the blueberry-cinnamon ones(!), are amazing and they always look delicious. (And the smell... >.< ) The tiny little ones are super cute and bite-sized and you just wanna pop 'em in your mouth, especially if I make the special ones with secret yummies inside.

Do you see what I was saying before, though?
"Maybe muffins are so sweet that they don't need icing? Maybe they're beautiful because they don't need it. And maybe cupcakes are just pretty because they've got icing?"
You can make crab-pickle muffins and slap on the snazziest pink icing and rainbow sparkles, and call it a cupcake, but no matter how much "makeup" you put on it to make it look pretty, what's underneath will taste like crap. It's the same for people.

Take a muffin,
A simple muffin,
Be it chocolate chip,
Even carrot or lemon-cran.
Baked with love
And ingredients
So secret to you and me
No need for icing, No, Sir. E., just remove it from the pan!

Omigoodness I'm like Digital Cuttlefish. <3

A muffin can be beautiful because of many things; its smell, not hidden by the scent of icing; its open promise of what there is inside; its purity, unmasked, and its simpleness brings back memories of home-baking and a sense of, "Hey, I've been here before... and I like it." Since, when will we find the time to bake sweet things with our busy schedules tying us down? It is much easier to pay $4 for a muffin than to make it on one's own.

People wear these cupcake icings and sprinkles that are our cars and brand-name accessories, but what is it worth in the end?

You can look pretty but be incapable of accepting, loving or appreciating anything, and that will make you an ugly person.
You can BE beautiful, and love and appreciate all things, and that's what will make you shine brighter than any sparkle, and taste better and sweeter than any food colouring + sugar + water mixture.

I'm all for change and creativity but it's always good to remember the classics - the originals.

Kind of a strange post.


Tentacleslol said...

Muffins are like, the shit you have in the morning for breakfast. Like, heat it up with like butter and have tea or juice or what ever with it, it's good. Big breakfast muffins are the best thing ever. Like, raspberry ones bigger then your hand. mmmmg.

Cupcakes are like, special. They're a treat. They come in all pretty colors and tastes and all of that jazz, but you're not going to wake up and be like, ZOMG IM GON HAVE TINY CUPCAKE FOR BREAKFAST. They're not practical, they need all these things going with them, icing, sprinkles, all of that shit, but here are muffins, just being muffins, great the way they are and not needing anything added.

I was going to say something else, but I don't like yams.

Tentacleslol said...

Also, I love you.

Saint Simmy said...

What the fuck have I started :O lol

Props for this post, Ori... I really liked it! You brought up some valid points and solid social parallels.