Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Just one cause of EHMES.

Dear Globlets,

I need to write something.

I feel really shitty.

Want to know something amusing? If you really wanted to, you could probably determine my menstrual cycle just by looking at my Facebook statuses and Globulations. TMI?
Perhaps. <3

I will be meeting with a Camosun College Academic Advisor this Thursday. They have drop-in times; no appointment necessary!

On Sunday I took the third-last English exam which I hope will be the third-last exam I ever take with FVDES. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, ever! EVER! Please. Please don't make me deal with Those People any more. Please? I'll do anything! ANYTHING! What? I won't have to? Oh, thank Lucy! I would have quite willingly jumped out the window if that was the only way to not deal with them again. You might think I'm exaggerating, but honestly, I am only very slightly...
One question on the test was to "Find two examples of onomatopoeia" in the poem that was provided. 2 marks. There was not a single example of onomatopoeia in the entire thing. I went over it countless times, I re-confirmed the definition of an onomatopoeia, and still I could not find it. Click the first link and tell me where the onomatopoeia is. I'm going to e-mail my teacher and bitch if no one finds it.

In case you hadn't noticed, which would be strange because if you're reading this you're probably my mother or my boyfriend and would know, I am a Grammar/Spelling Nazi. I'm not a pro, but I try. Now, when I take a course that helps me get important shiny pieces of paper, a course that teaches and tells me to check my spelling/grammar (AKA: ENGLISH), all while littering every single page with at least one huge, hypocritical typo, I become somewhat cross. I'm also sad and frustrated to the point of enraged-Hulk-muscle-expansion syndrome, or EHMES, to say that it is often more than one typo per page. On an English course website. Where the first module is all about proof-reading and part of the second is all about grammar. On an English course website. Where they don't seem to understand the power of Microsoft Word. Microsoft Word, for those who don't know (because they've lived under a rock for several decades) is a rather well-known computer program that automatically checks spelling in every document.

I just find it a little hard to take courses seriously because of this. Actually, I find it difficult, if not impossible, to respect ANYONE who can't be bothered to capitalize the word "I," to write out the word "you," or to add a comma or period here and there, especially when they are a teacher or are writing to you regarding a matter of some importance. I don't expect everyone to write beautifully composed messages to their friends, but a little more effort would be nice. If I have to read a simple message more than once to understand what it's saying, there's something wrong. i find it so hard 2 read msgs writen by ppl 2 lazy 2 writ out da hole word in sentenc's like this 1. da SqUiGlY red line mens ur speling bad it takes me longer 2 rEaD n writ da weerd "sHoRtHaNd" ppl seem 2 think is fastr then it wud 4 propper english 2 bcome write.
You have no idea how hard writing that was for me. I spelled "then" as "than" before I realized that was right, and right is not what we were going for. Writing it was like petting a cat backwards - painful and wrong, but kind of funny to look at afterwards.

Respect is a two-way street. To me, writing something in such butchered language shows a lack of respect towards the recipient. It's like you don't have the time to give a shit when you write to me. Consequently, as a recipient, I often feel a lack of respect towards the sender. Depending on the context and gravity of the errors, my expectations of that person will also drop.

The difference between a Grammar Nazi and a Nazi-Nazi is that I won't brutally murder you if you make a couple of mistakes. Again, depending on the context and gravity of the errors, I might consider it. I proof-read everything, often multiple times, even when writing to people I don't respect.

On an unrelated note, this always happens: I begin writing with several topics in mind and end up writing an entire novel about only of them. On the upside, this leaves more topics to write about in the future!

Thank you. I feel better now. Funny how complaining about things does that. The Midol probably helped too. I felt like crying and throwing up before, eyeing the last of the chocolate goop, but now I feel like declaring my love to you and prancing around with ponies in Lollipop Land. Well, almost. I am, after all, allergic to hay. But what if the ponies don't eat hay! I mean, they live in...
That's enough, Ori. That's enough.


Mommet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mommet said...

Hear hear!

You have captured my feelings on the subject so nicely, thank you :)

(I had a typo!)