Monday, May 31, 2010

I like this 16:

Dear Globlets,

I like this:

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
- Mitch Hedberg

I liked one yesterday too but I forgot to post it. :(

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

From a former daddy's girl.

Dear Globlets,

I wanted to write about this a while ago but at the time I was still very angry and emotional, so I thought letting the situation stew and give it some time to cool off would be a better approach. I'm still angry and it still hurts, especially because he can't see it at all, but at least now the wound is not as fresh.

I used to live in Chile. We moved there in 2002; I was ten. We didn't speak Spanish but it didn't take long for my brother and me to pick it up. My dad was born there. I have dozens of relatives on my grandmother's side (Torres) and on my grandfather's (Varas). We would get together with our cousins, aunts and uncles routinely and we quickly established good friendships with them. I love my Chilean family members and I miss them, just as I love and miss the best friends I've ever had - Cata, Meli, y Cristian (or "niƱito feo" as we used to call him, pero no era feo). We're all on Facebook, but contact is still minimal. It doesn't help when your Spanish is rusty. Although we were just getting by most of the time, we were happy. Or at least I thought we were. We had a spacious apartment (except for the kitchen) in a really nice area of the city. We had friends, family, good and inexpensive food, cinemas, parks, and public transit within minutes of our home.

After two and a half years, my dad was offered back his old job in Canada. He was having a hard time finding steady work in Santiago, but both he and my mom were teaching English to pay the bills. I'm not exactly sure how the whole thing went down, but before I knew it, my dad left for Canada. We were to follow in a couple of months. My mom did not want to go back, my brother probably did not want to go back (but he was still little so he might not have cared) and I, of course, did not want to go back either. Why would I want to leave my family and friends? We didn't actually have to, but even so, we did go back.

I never cried when we left my Canadian hometown, but I wept when we left Chile.

On July 1st, Canada Day, the wheels of our aeroplane skidded down the runway and dropped us off at YVR. Soon after, sometime in August, my dad left. I suppose the reason for bringing us back with him was simply because he wanted to be close to us, his children, and vice versa, after the separation/divorce. As selfish as that may have been, he never took advantage of what he seemingly deliberately did.

I never received a good explanation or an apology, but perhaps it was unrealistic of me to expect anything like that. I had questions but I lacked balls to ask them. Sometimes I was upset about what he did but for the most part I felt numb, like a constant uncomfortable neutrality and many times I dreaded seeing him because of that feeling. Over the years, I didn't think about him much. He's had some presence in my life, and no one but himself has ever stopped him from having more. Later on, he made it clear that he doesn't want to go where he isn't wanted. This implied that my brother and I would have to be the ones to initiate contact or make an appointment to see him. There is a saying, "If you want to be loved, then be lovable." My dad makes it seem like he wants to be wanted but he is not being wantable. He says he loves us and he says he misses us. I don't doubt his sincerity; however, it has always felt like we tell him about our lives without knowing if he actually cares. This is not only because he rarely asks about our lives and probably expects us to always just tell him, but it's also hard to bring your dad up to speed about your life when he tells you nothing of his own. Give a little to get a little? If you want to know something about me, all you have to do is ask. I simply need an invitation, a question or two, and I will spill every bean you wish me to spill - within reason. We'll make hummus with the leftovers. He tells me to send him an e-mail or a text message once in a while, but then I wonder why he doesn't send me one too. Although he knows some of what goes on in my life, he doesn't know anything about me as a person and he hasn't shown any real incentive to learn about me.

Try this: "I want to know more about you because you're my daughter, and, you know, we're related and shit. So, what do you like? ..." A sorry for not asking sooner would be nice too, but again, it is important to remain realistic.

A couple of months ago, my dad went on a trip to Chile without taking neither Child nor me. When he returned, I discovered why. He went to visit an old high school sweetheart. (He could have taken us and left us at the airport to be picked up by family/friends, but whatever!) He told me about his trip, her, and then a bit about his life before and after he emigrated to Canada. This was the first time he opened up and told me something about himself. I was glad. Except now he is thinking of moving back to Chile despite the fact that he doesn't like it there and, most importantly, despite the fact that he brought us back here, in a way, against our will, so we could still "be together" as my rationalization claims. He is leaving. Again. We don't know when but we suspect it's soon. This means no more Child Support (a decent amount) because he'll be retiring. At 50.

What a lucky guy: no more paying almost the full amount of Child Support, no more not contributing to the cost of extra-curricular activities, no more not contributing to the cost of school trips, no more not contributing to post-secondary tuition fees - no more not spending money on his kids' needs and no more not spending time with them either.

What a lucky guy: no more responsibility at all. It must be nice to have a penis. It seems that if you have one you have the freedom to abandon your children and live without a care in the world.* By the time he realizes what he's done, it will be too late. We'll make due, but I pity him for being so blind and selfish. I, along with my mom, wonder how long it will take for him to return with his tail between his legs.

What a lucky guy, indeed.

* By no means do I believe all penis-owners think like this, but there are many who do and it is them to whom I refer.

My cousins/Mis primos:

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I like this 15:

Dear Globlets,

I like this:

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.
- Sir Francis Bacon

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"Is rape really that bad?"

Dear Globlets,

If you can stomach it, here is a post I found extremely disturbing, but also very telling of the kinds of religious people you can quite easily find:
"But is rape really that bad? It’s a horrible experience but you get over it with time."
"I think any woman would easily tell you that a painful divorce is worse than rape but it’s not an excuse to kill your baby, so why is rape?

Christian women can also take a lot more than atheist women."
Yeah, I would totally take RAPE over a BAD DIVORCE...
I'm going to run that by you again.
I would rather get RAPED than go through a BAD DIVORCE.
I would rather have a complete stranger or family member shove their dick in me without my consent than spend money on lawyers and time in court, fighting my ex-to-be.

I'm being sarcastic, I hope you realize.

This person's comments surprise me, yet they do not. They surprise me because I simply don't expect people to think this way, but at the same time they don't surprise me because a wilfully corrupt mind will continue to accept corrupt ideas. Reason doesn't have a part in corruption.

I want to say, "I can't believe people like this exist," but I do. I have to. I don't think we should ignore the ignorance of people because that makes it okay for them to be ignorant. Ignorance is not the correct response to ignorance; education is.

Do Christians/Catholics think it is unfair, wrong or immoral when they find out about things like this, where innocent people, women and children are harmed or killed because of their religion (Islam)? Or do they understand it because the bible insists on numerous immoral behaviours just like the qur'an does? Read the fourth comment on the post for a couple of examples. Here's another: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death" (Leviticus 20:13). Nobody likes the gays, but everybody likes their fashion knowledge and decorating skill...

Christians, Catholics, Jews and Muslims are all in the same boat and they're paddling their way against the current of evolution. They're not moving forward, but they're not moving back much. They are stuck and happily so. However, they don't realize that there are more holes in their religions than they can attempt to fix, especially when they have to keep paddling. The holes keep coming, too. They can paddle and scramble to patch the holes with their scotch-tape clear claims all they want, but it won't last forever. Their boat is sinking. Perhaps not as fast as it should, but it is nevertheless. The best part about Atheism is that we're going with the current. We are moving on from religion, we are moving past religion, we are leaving it behind as it sinks to sleep with the fishes. Even so, there will always be room in our boat for people who grow tired of paddling against the current and wish to accept the truth, the rationality and the forward-thinking that comes with a lack of religion.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I like this 14:

Dear Globlets,

I like this:

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov

College are good for we.

Dear Globlets,

Two major things have happened recently: I started college and I broke up with my boyfriend. My life is quite different from what it was a few weeks ago, but it's a change I'm not disliking or afraid of.

How on Earth did I get into a college without a high school diploma, without going to high school, without even setting foot in a high school class? Well, it wasn't magic; I did my research.

Now, the next time somebody tells you that you have to go to school if you want a future, tell them to shove it. If they tell you that you have to take provincial exams, that home-schooling is bad for kids because they will have no social skills/life, that you will need a Dogwood Diploma to get into college or university, or that home- or un-schooling is not a successful means of education and learning, please take a good hard look at me, and then to this book written by a really wonderful man I met at Not Back to School Camp (NBTSC):

There are other options. There are always other options. You just have to look for them.

In order to get into college, I had to jump through a few hoops. The first hoop was proving that my English was equal to, or greater than a grade 12 C+. So I took an English assessment, for which I studied and stressed over only to have a disappointing mark returned to me. I didn't dwell on it too much, even though I was pretty unhappy with myself. I thought about it and came up with some reasons for my less-than-satisfactory (IMO) mark, so I quickly let it go and moved on to the next hoop. As a student, if you do not have a C+ or higher in English 12 OR pass the assessment, you must take upgrading courses, ENG092 (Composition) and ENG094 (Literature), which, together, are the equivalent of English 12. However, before I could enrol in these courses, I had to either turn 19 or graduate from high school. Since I had done neither and was quite incapable of accomplishing even one of them within a few weeks, I went to speak with the Registrar. She was very nice and I was let in without issue after I showed her I was serious about my college education.

It's recommended that you do not take ENG092 and ENG094 condensed courses (7 weeks instead of 14) simultaneously, so I'm taking 092 over the Spring and 094 in the Summer. This also gives me a chance to get the feel for college courses.

Today I attended my fourth class at Camosun College. I really like it, and contrary to what some people thought would happen, I'm not struggling at all. The only things I have a somewhat hard time with are a) waking up early for class and b) writing double-spaced. B is worse than A, let me tell you. Some of the things we are going over I already know, like subject-verb agreement; other things I do not know or it is just a good idea to go over them in more detail.

I sit between Sp and Am who have turned out to be really nice girls. Half (two rows) of the right side of the classroom seat men, the opposite side seats women and the two front rows on both sides are mixed. Most seem nice, however, the row of women behind us can get on my nerves sometimes. They tend to make negative comments about the tasks at hand and are often loud during the times we write in-class assignments or tests. Nobody likes tests and nobody likes working under pressure or with time-constraints, but I go there to learn and if those are parts of the class then I will do them without complaining. I want to pass the tests, I want to finish my assignments on time, and I want to complete the course to the best of my ability. I don't care why anyone else is there, and regardless of what their reason is, they have no right to disrupt or make negative anyone else's experience. A little courtesy goes a long way.

In conclusion, I think I like where I am right now.

Boy-talk comes later. Bleh. :/