Approximately two years ago I lost her. We were moving and in that familiar, chaotic process, something happened that separated us. I didn't even remember what it was but it had a devastating effect on our relationship. I looked everywhere for her but she left no signs, no clues... she just left. I assumed she decided to get up and walk away one day. Perhaps I neglected her too much over the summer. A note would have been nice. How long would she be gone for? Was she ever coming back? Would I be able to reach her while she was away? No. I was heartbroken.
I spent days in closets among numerous shelves and hangers, searching. I spent hours ripping open taped-up cardboard boxes, searching, yet I found no trace of her. No pictures, no piece of her to help me remember the autumn and winter days we spent together. For two years, the coldest seasons of the year were of the coldest I'd ever felt and it was because I did not have her. I wanted her, I needed her, and I never ceased the search for her even to this summer. We were so wonderful for each other.
I'd sometimes dream about her, and you know how ridiculous dreams can be. I would find her in the strangest places. One day she was under the bed, another day she was in my winter boot, and another she was playing with my cat (something most will never have the privilege to do and live to tell the tale). How I longed for her company once again. How I longed for her warmth. I wondered if she ever felt the same way that I felt about her. I hoped that she did. I could never, and would never, find another that came even remotely close to her. She was the best and I loved her.
The other day, after a night out on the town, I came home and decided to look for the camera that preceded my Canon XSI: The Epson. I nearly rearranged my entire walk-in-closet-sized bedroom in order to dig it out of where I kept it. After returning my books and desk to order, I grabbed the red camera case and unzipped the lid to reveal two things I had not seen in quite some time. One was The Epson, the other... was her.
I could not believe it. What was she doing there, of all places?! What fool would have put her there, left her there, and then forgotten about her? I immediately pulled her out of the camera case, put my fingers inside her just like I used to do, and set her on my head. My red beret! After two years of agonizing separation, I'd found her. We rejoiced and celebrated, and it was as though there never was a minute that separated us. The past had been erased and we were together again. We were just where we belonged.
Unfortunately, it is summer now and we must wait until autumn to become one again, but until then I will not let her out of my sight. She is mine once more and I am hers. My red beret, how I love her.