Sunday, August 29, 2010

I like this 36 + Served best with hard liquor.

Dear Globlets,

I like this:
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
- Dorothy Nevill

I was going to write something a little more substantial but now I've forgotten what it was. Oops! Yay for my good memory. Soon soon soon soon soon! I promise. I have ideas. I'm just pre-writing them in my mind. My mind is like a crock pot (NOT CRACK POT! Okay, maybe crack pot too...): You let the ideas and words sit for hours and hours and all the ideas soak up the other ideas' flavours and that creates new flavours and after 6 hours of cooking on Low, you have a delicious globulation ready to be spooned out onto the Internet. Served best with hard liquor. Just like the author.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I Love Lucy No.1 + ZooBorns.

Dear Globlets,

I love ZooBorns:

I also love Lucy:
I love her even though she sleeps on my pillow so that when I wake up in the morning, my eyes and nose are full of Lucy furs and I am greeted with all the allergy symptoms I could possibly get. Yes, I am allergic to cats and yet I live with one. (Note: We do not OWN Lucy; she owns us.)

She's kind of strange, but then again, so are we. I guess we're just perfect for each other.

I think I'd like to introduce a new segment... I mean, oh, let's say, Globument, to my Glob. It'll be called "I love Lucy" and will consist of Lucyfurian things, presented in a way similar to the "I like this" Globuments.

Friday, August 27, 2010

I like this 35:

Dear Globlets,

I like these:

"Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody."
- Franklin P. Adams

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."
- Jimmy Buffett

Also, tee hee. Details at 7.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Dear Globlets,

Recently, I've felt a little down, especially when I was around two of my favourite people: The one girl who comes closest to being my best girlfriend (apart from my mom) and Sh, believe it or not.

In the past, after spending some time with Sh, I would feel a kind of anger and frustration towards him; I could not identify the source. I felt better once I knew what I was responding to; I realized it was something he had that I lacked and that the real emotion was envy. I thought it was strange to envy him due to his current situation. I would never give up my relationships with my family members for what he has, (then again, I don't need to,) but I do want even a fraction of it, nevertheless. He has friends. He has a lot of friends. He has friends who actively pursue his company. He has friends who ask if he wants to get together, hang out, go somewhere, etc. They say, "Hey, how's it going? Long time no see! We should meet up!" They support him in his artistic endeavours. They respond to his grammatically incorrect blog posts. They talk to him. They want to talk to him and they want to see him. I haven't felt wanted by a friend in a long time.

Some tell me they "would if they could" but they don't have the time and I live too far away. I've been over this before, having mentioned MSN, e-mail, Skype, telephones (for calls/texts), snail mail, Facebook, and singing telegrams, but I shouldn't have to suggest ways for people to communicate with me... that is, if I am their friend. If someone doesn't want to be my friend, they shouldn't pretend to be one whenever it fits in their schedule. So, yes, you could say that sometimes I feel like if I fell off the face of the earth, my mom's friends would know about it first and care more about it, too. Actually, I'm quite certain that that would be the case.

My best friends, as in the people I feel I can count on the most, are not people in my age group, with a couple of exceptions at best. I know them through my mom (not the exceptions). You might think that's weird and that I should be capable of forming friendships on my own and with people my own age, but it's the ones who are older than me who I can best relate to and converse with. The 40-something year old woman I sat next to in ENG094 wasn't studying to become a rocket scientist, but we could have a conversation - perhaps not about serious issues in the world or personal values, but for some reason we could talk. Another day, when I sat elsewhere in the class, I sat next to a girl who was closer to my age but she barely looked at me and was actually texting during class. (My kinda girl!/sarcasm.) In ENG092, I sat next to a couple of 20 year-olds who were very nice, but they had more in common with each other than with me. Unlike them, I don't watch Oprah, Tyra Banks, Dr. Oz, or the Bachelor(ette); I watch House, Battlestar Galactica, TBBT, Law & Order: CI, Weeds, Rescue Me, Shameless, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Dexter and Doctor Who. The only really light stuff I watch is SYTYCD and Say Yes to the Dress. That's the kind of prime time stimulation they seek and this is the kind that I seek; that's the kind of girl they are and this is the kind of girl I am. Do you catch my drift? I had multiple very nice conversations with a 50 year-old guy who was in my class while we waited for the bus stop. He wore a Midnight Oil t-shirt. I doubt I would have had a conversation like that with any of the girls from my class who were closer to me in age.

The problem with trying to be better friends with people who you consider your friends is that they already have friends. They already have good friends and best friends. They don't need any more friends. Besides, I've never done anything to imply that I would want to be their friend. Except for all the times that I did. But that's okay. As I've said before, I can't blame people for having lives that don't include me. I can't blame them for having other, better relationships that they choose to improve on more frequently than ours. The thing is, I don't have a best friend I can call up and talk to about anything, whenever I need or want to, other than my mom. I've either dated them to death and/or cut them loose because it was no longer healthy for me to be around them.

I'm not saying I'm not grateful for the people I know or for the people who I still consider friends. I'm saying I wish I wouldn't be given a false hope that we could be real friends as opposed to slightly-friendlier-than-acquaintance friends.

It's not even distance that is always the problem.

I know that I'm not going to be in this situation forever, or even for that much longer as I'll be going to school full time in September and will likely meet people with whom I'll share similar interests. I'm getting over my envy and frustration towards my "friends," and writing about it here helps.

For the record, even after all my complaining, I would still do anything for my friends. If someone needed a place to stay, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a word of advice, of consolation or of sympathy, a hug, or a mango pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, I would do/make that for them even if I knew things would go back to the way they were - mostly because I wouldn't think about how helping them would benefit me at the time. Because that's what friends do. Even if you don't want to be my friend, I'll probably always want to be yours. Maybe I've cut a few people loose over the years, but my hand is open to anyone who wants to grab onto it.

I like this 34:

Dear Globlets,

I like this:

You might have seen this before, but I don't think I had. This girl has balls and I am so proud... for some reason. I got goosebumps and I felt the impact of her words hit inside my chest. I feel really strongly about what she says. I wish I had an opportunity to say something like that, something I feel strongly about, and so well. Good on her. We need more people like this.

I like this 33:

Dear Globlets,

I fucking like this:

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Birthday Wishes.

Dear Globlets,

As some of you may know, my birthday is coming up and I don't care how silly it is to already be talking about it but it is my 19th and I will be having a decent sized party and I am excited, so there.

Because I am such a difficult girl to figure out, a really complicated female specimen of the human race, there is no way any one will ever be able to determine what to get me. I don't like music, films, literature or art, I don't like sparkly-shiny things, I don't like pretty things, I don't like smelly things, I don't like soft things, I don't like cute things, I don't like thoughtful things, I don't like little things, I don't like fun/funny things, I don't like witty card things, and I most certainly do NOT like books of empty pages for writing in, so it would, indeed, be very difficult to decide what gift to get for someone like me. It is for this reason that I have decided to post a globulation with my official wish list...

...Ori's Official Wish List:

- Manservant
- White pants for manservant
- 2006 Red/Blue (but probably red) Mini Cooper S Convertible with black and white stripes, red and black interior.

I think that's pretty reasonable, don't you?

*Wishlist subject to change.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I like this 32:

Dear Globlets,

I like these:

"It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong."
- G. K. Chesterton

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas A. Edison

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I like this 31 + Mid-August Summer Day

Dear Globlets,

Are you sick of my posting yet? First day off school and I'm on my third globulation. Mind you, they're not exactly five pages long.

Some things that I like:

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
- Sir Richard Francis Burton

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."
- Michael Pritchard

Weather. I have some things to say about weather. Today is August 19th and in the Northern hempisphere this is what some people call the season of Summer. Currently, it is 10:00AM(ish), it is overcast, with a scorching Summer temperature of 15*C expected to increase later in the day and get all the way up to a whopping 16*C.
August. Summer. Summer. August. High of 16*C. I'm thinking about scarves and socks. This is ridiculous. It's an outrage. Something is so very painfully wrong about this.

That's it. I can't take it any more. Fuck this shit. I'm going to back to Chile.

Chile: A place where Summer is consistent and doesn't drop 15 degrees within a week; a place that lets you get used to the Summer heat instead of forcing you to suffer through the severe mood swings of the bipolar maniac that is BC Summer; a place where Summer is Summer and Winter is Fall and doesn't pretend it's anything more or anything less than that.

Should I put away my skirts and dresses and shorts? Or are you going to spike back up to 30*+ again soon, BC Summer?

And you know what else, SUMMER? You're not worthy of my capitalizing your S any more! I liked you with a capital S even though it's not technically correct. So, summer, come back once you've reached your senses.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go find a pair of socks and make myself a giant cup of hot lemon-ginger tea on this marvellous August summer day.


Dear Globlets,

They remind me of LUCY! They're like, "MMm nom nom nom kill scratch bite gnaw bite scratch," and the mom just takes it. Like we do. In fact, some of us encourage Lucy when she gets crazy. Never stick your toes outside of the blanket in the morning unless you want to lose a couple of them. And then after the kitty has had its fill, it goes back to be all "Mmm I love you I love you kiss lick kiss snuggle purr lick lick kiss purr." Lucy usually goes back to being vicious again though. <3

Awesome Insects.

Dear Globlets,

How fucking awesome is this?!

Stolen from Pharyngula.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I like this 30:

Dear Globlets,

I so sorry I no been writing, an' seems when do it not ver gewd. Today is my last class of ENG094, so wish me luck and expect more writing soon. For now you'll have to live with these that I like:

"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."
- Evan Esar

"For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news."
- Gloria Borger

Monday, August 9, 2010

I like this 29:

Dear Globlets,

I like this:

"A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective."
- Edward Teller

Sunday, August 8, 2010


Dear Globlets,

Is it too soon to start inviting people to my birthday party? I'll be 19 on September 20th. Next year will be good too. I'll be 20 on the 20th! Too bad I wasn't born in 2000. :( I bet somebody was, though! This is very exciting for me right now and something tells me it really isn't to anybody else. But just think! To have your 20th birthday on the 20th day of any month in 2020! And if they had 20/20 vision. I think if I knew a person who was like this my head would explode. That would be very exciting - the head explosion as well as the 20/20/2020/20/20. Too bad we only have 12 months and not 20. :(

Do I need to get out more?


- Manservant
- White pants FOR manservant

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I like this 28:

Dear Globlets,

I like these:

"Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you begin."
- Stanislaw J. Lec

Moi? =O

"I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some."
- Herbert Rappaport

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Creationists in the Classrom, AUS.

Dear Globlets,

I realize I'm becoming a bit of a copycat, somewhat 'forwarding' Pharyngula's blog posts to you, but I've got to. I've just got to.

"Creationists hijack lessons and teach schoolkids man and dinosaurs walked together"
This is both hilarious and tragic:

Students have been told Noah collected dinosaur eggs to bring on the Ark, and Adam and Eve were not eaten by dinosaurs because they were under a protective spell.

Australian Secular Lobby president Hugh Wilson said children were ostracised and discriminated against if they were pulled out of the class.

Set Free Christian Church's Tim McKenzie said when students questioned him why dinosaur fossils carbon dated as earlier than man, he replied that the great flood must have skewed the data.

New research shows three in 10 Australians believe dinosaurs and man did exist at the same time.

[PhD researcher Cathy Byrne] said 70 per cent of scripture teachers thought children should be taught the Bible as historical fact.


The last part of the article is the fantastickest. Link is above.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Because we ask for it.

Dear Globlets,

I found something interesting on Pharyngula that has inspired me to write about a recent experience.

The other day, my mom and I were walking to the Y downtown and we headed down a street along which numerous construction workers were resting. They were sitting, lined up alongside the sidewalk. I doubt many men have ever felt the uncomfortable feeling of being watched like that. I don't even know if they looked at us, but we were wearing yoga pants and we happen to have vaginas as well as breasts; the odds that a couple of them looked (at least) are great. I refused to look at them because I'd rather not know what they look like and I pretended that I was invisible instead. I don't want to see them because I'm afraid they'll smile or wink or elbow their buddy and point or something. I don't know what they're thinking and I don't want to.

It's not a good feeling. It's a scary feeling. It makes me feel uncomfortable. We weren't about to go back down the street and walk around the block to avoid them. We shouldn't have to.

This wasn't the first time I've felt that and it won't be the last. It was daylight and we were in a relatively busy part of town, and I felt nervous, I felt sick, I felt embarrassed, I felt worried. I didn't feel pretty, I didn't feel sexy, I felt like an object solely for entertainment, but I am not part of a circus. I don't want to feel like I'm in a cage, like a circus animal, where every little move I make appeals to my audience. If I wanted that I'd get myself on a reality show.

Sometimes I think it's the people outside of a circus animal's cage, the ones watching, who are the real animals.

But it'd be my fault if I got raped, naturally. Form-fitting clothes are like gift cards for sex that you give to complete strangers. BRB, I'll go get myself a burka.

Sample of Pharyngula's post:

The Male Privilege Checklist

1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.

2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true.

3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.

4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.

5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are.

6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.

7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low.

8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.

9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.

10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.

11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent.

12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.

13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.

14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.

15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.

16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.

17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.

18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.

19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.

20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.

21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.

22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.

23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.

24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a "slut," nor is there any male counterpart to "slut-bashing."

25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability.

26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring.

27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time.

28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.

29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.

30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.

31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)

32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.

33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.

34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.

35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.

36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.

37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.

38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks.

39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.

40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.

41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.

42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do.

43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.

44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.”

45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment.

45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.

46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I like this 27 + :

Dear Globlets,

I like these:

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'"
Theodore Roosevelt

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
Mae West

I thought this was, well, brilliant:!/video/video.php?v=159216125164

I hope the link works. It's something everyone should see, I think.

New Glob design. Like? I was tired of the dark. Then my mom said I should change it. And I said okay and I changed it. It had been bothering me for a while but I think it's good now. I also added a Twitter gadget to the page. I said I'd never become a Twit but too often do I think in Status Updates, so I figured having another place to put them would accommodate the habit.

Fear not, Globlets, I'll post something substantial soon enough.