Monday, November 29, 2010

Contest Entry: My Queendom by Lucy Varas

Dear Globlets,

I entered a contest on the blog, Why Evolution is True. The entry consists of a picture and a 250 word paragraph about the cat.

The story is told from my cat's point of view. In case you don't already know, her name is Lucy Varas, she is a desperate housecat, and this is her story... DUNDUN!

My Queendom by Lucy Varas

My name is Lucy (Lucifer) Varas and I am the ruler of my queendom. I enjoy long walks on the roof, sitting on laps watching movies, the fanciest of Fancy Feasts – we’re talking Florentines - but tuna straight from a can is also an acceptable meal, as is raw fish of any kind. I have three humans: comfiest, warmest, least-likely-to-carry-me-too-long Mama; understanding, best-when-in-bed-and-immobile, most-likely-to-receive-food-from Sister; male who I have a soft spot for (I always purr for him), most-likely-to-carry-me-for-too-long Brother. My duty is to protect my humans. Any stranger who comes into my queendom will be put under surveillance and subject to many tests, one of which includes the “I will rub against your leg and make you think I have accepted you but IN FACT I HAVE NOT; you are the equivalent of a chair leg to me, imbecile!” And if the stranger fails this test, the punishment is a scratch-and-hiss. Scratch-and-hisses are the most common form of punishment in my queendom and only when I try to leave my queendom (temporarily) might I inflict this upon one of my humans. I am pleased with my humans’ understanding of my stranger-intolerance, as they tell guests, upon arrival, not to touch me, for they are not worthy. They should be grateful for being in my presence at all. However, many strangers have ignored these warnings and accuse me of being the guilty one, but this is, of course, nonsense. After all, this is my queendom and I meow the rules.


Note: No humans were harmed in the making of this narrative.

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