Sometimes, if you're lucky, exceptionally special people enter your world. There is something about them that you are inexplicably drawn to, and once you have them in your world, you never want them to leave. Sometimes the feeling leads to romance and other times to friendship. And when you start with friendship but would consider something more, that's when you become terrified of what might happen if you take the next step.
There are a number of people who have come into my life and made me so happy to have met them. D was one of them until he broke my heart, leaving me to wonder what it would have been like had things been different, but granting me the opportunity to experience something as deeply emotional as that.
Although we've never met, there is a strange attraction I have with another boy in the US: CSa. He's quite different from D, in that D was more personality and CSa is more brains, but that's not to say D wasn't smart, or that CSa is dull. I have so much in common with CSa, and when we talk, his brain turns me on. Speaking to him literally excites me. I get that weird smiley-girly-giggly thing that activates when I'm talking to someone I'm attracted to. Unfortunately, we don't talk as often as I'd like, but there is something supremely sexy about a guy with a brain, and the fact that he looks like a young Benicio del Toro helps too.
(Es mas rico que la chucha.)
The problem with most of the special people I meet is that they do not live in the same city as me. I'm lucky if I find myself in the same country with them, in fact. The internet doesn't help. I mean, it does, because it allows me to meet fascinating people who live very far away, but it also allows me to meet fascinating people who live very far away, which is bad. Plus, it lets you to creep their Facebook pictures and Photoshop your face into them. Not that I do that, of course.
Most of these special people have been boys, but then came Marissa. When I heard that the manly, infamous Marissa (she gets her name spelled out - that's how special she is) was coming to MY city, I was really excited. I'd talked to her online through FVDES' student social networking site-type-thing, and I already knew she was awesome. Although we didn't hang out much in the beginning, over time we became great friends.
She is the kind of person who is everybody's best friend. She is reasonable, smart, down-to-earth, fun, clever, funny, and when she's not being the absolute worst human being purchasing a one-way ticket straight to hell, she's buying a second ticket for me as well. We can have intelligent conversations. We look at things in a very similar way. And while I don't know for sure how she feels about me, I feel very strongly about her, and I think I've made that pretty clear. Unfortunately, neither of us are attracted to each other romantically. (It's all bark, Sugarmuffin.) I'm lucky I know her.
But she had a decision to make recently - a pretty big decision that would seriously affect her future. She would either stay here and go to UVic or go to a university in Ottawa. She kept me on edge about it for weeks. While I had the feeling she would choose Ottawa, I always hoped that I'd be wrong. Of all the times I would have preferred to be wrong, I ended up being right. She's going to pursue her academic goals in the East. I would never ask someone to stay for me, and I would never stay for someone else if they asked me to, and I'm proud of her. I probably would have felt guilty if she'd stayed. (For about 10 seconds /selfish bitch.)
She'll come back to Vancouver in a year, luckily, but I'm going to miss her like boys miss toilet bowls: A LOT.
That was really poetic.
But I really am going to miss her. She's one of the special people, and I'm sad to see her go. Special people just aren't allowed to be in the same city as me for long periods of time. I think I know why, though. It probably has to do with the fact that if too much chemistry and amazing-awesomeness is found in a small area over a long period of time, a black hole might form and the whole world would be destroyed in a matter of minutes. Or seconds. I'm not a scientist. Neil Tyson is.
Marissa would know.
I might be sad to see her go
But I love to watch her leave.
Did I just quote Lil Wayne? I've never even heard the song. How do I know this?
GOOD LUCY, IT'S AWFUL! I can't even embed it. I won't. I'll link, but that's as far as I'll go. OML. Listen and weep: http://youtu.be/oT6XPSEl5qE Yeah, I'm a hater.
'Cept she won't be coming back
Asking 'bout her keys.
See? I can rap, too.
Keep in touch, brochacho. Because I... will always... love youuuu!
Hey. Fezzes are cool.
PS. "(Nicki Minaj)
Ok I get it, let me think,- I can't say for sure, but I think she's doing it wrong.
i guess its my turn,
maybe its time to put this p-ssy on your sideburns"